Lisabelle

My cover of "My Same" by Adele!

2012-01-15T20:31:00.002-08:00

Upcoming Gig

2011-12-23T13:19:00.000-08:00

Just a thought

2011-09-02T16:17:00.000-07:00

I have been thinking about the concepts of compassion and expectations lately and this thought can't seem to leave my mind.

Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they've got. Just because someone loves you to the best of their ability, doesn't mean they can love you the way you need to feel loved.

Perspectives?

I Love My Life!

2011-09-01T11:35:00.000-07:00

I made these posters for a friend, and in exchange I got to be the opening act! Rebecca is an incredibly talented musician, visit http://www.rebeccamason.ca/ to hear her original music!

I love my friends.

2011-08-31T09:54:00.000-07:00

An exchange of words that occured while driving on an overpass over the highway at 11pm.

FRIEND: Is that a cow?
ME: uhh, where?
FRIEND: Oh nevermind, it is just a bench.

REALLY?

Oh how I adore you my friend :)

healthy communication

2011-04-21T20:46:00.000-07:00

Today I witnessed a beautiful thing. It was two young girls no older then 4 or 5 having a simple conversation.

Girl #1 - I don't really like hanging out with you.
Girl #2 - Yeah, I don't like hanging out with you either. It is really boring. I am so bored.
*go back to colouring....10 minutes later*
Girl #2 - I don't want to have to share a fishing rod with you later.
Girl #1 - I really don't want to share a fishing rod with you either.
*go back to colouring....30 seconds later*
Girl #1 - Want to come to my house for a sleepover tonight?
Girl #2 - sure that would be SO AWESOME!!!!

It's like, they got to say how they felt in the moment, accepted each others feelings and moved on. Oh the beauty and lessons that children bring to my life! I am so grateful for their wisdom :)

Happy Anti-Valentines Day!

2011-02-13T20:48:00.000-08:00

Hello lovelies.

Hope you are all blissfully in love today (and every other day of your wonderful lives.) If you are not - don't fret. I love you and because I love you so much, I have made you a selection of anti-valentines day cards varying from educational to gross. Feel free to share them with friends and family, I bet they will appreciate it. Nothing says I love you like reality :) tehehehe...jokes.

Because I am working from home @ the moment and spent a fabulous weekend in Vancouver visiting friends and relatives, I am going to recycle my favourite previous posted anti-valentines day statements/advice (I think we are on year six of singledom? sigh. hahaha). Feast your eyes:

Fat. Naked. Dangerous - VD 2008

cupcakes, rainbows, butterflies and all that shit. - VD 2007

Go out and get yer VD on you animal xo

Grenade.

2011-01-27T16:45:00.000-08:00

I got called a grenade by this guy today on an online dating community. I had to google the term to figure out what it meant, here it is by definition:

grenade. noun (I think?) - An ugly girl of the hot friend. Usually has some unsightly repulsive characteristic such as a excessive body fat, large nose, forehead or just plain unnatractive looks. Gets ignored when out. Has her own male friends hitting on the hotter girl in front of her eyes and behind her back. Grenades usually end up nowhere in life due to their unnatractive physical characteristics and lack of common sense.

I love how this definition is full of spelling errors. Is this intentional, or just reflective of the level of human intelligence we are dealing with here? For clarification purposes I have attached the communication between DoucheyB (aka...douchebag, because name calling is the theme of the day and because I have a morsel of compassion for the guy, not sure why....I have changed his nickname in an attempt to protect his identity??) and Lisabelle (Lisa the great)

DoucheyB: Subject - what?

nice bike... but i didnt know grenades could
ride bikes.

Lisabelle: Subject - Thank You :)

Hello.
Believe it or not, the ability to ride a motorbike has nothing to do with my looks (gasp!). I appreciate your feedback and taking the time to let me know you do not find me physically attractive but in the future I would suggest being a little less passive aggressive and just call me ugly outright. Saves me from having to look up the slang terminology for “grenade” that one may pick up from shows like Jersey Shore. I unfortunately do not keep this type of dialogue in my repertoire. Good luck in your search, I hope you find what you are looking for.

Regards,
Lisa

DoucheyB: Subject - RE: Thank You :)

your ugly outright. and your attempt at burning me coincided with the fact that you
took the time to google something i wrote you... therefore point me.... you may now continue being pointless.

Lisabelle: Subject - RE:RE: Thank You :)

Awww how sweet, you thought my attempt to expand my vocabulary has something to do with you. I was just being honest (something that which you are clearly familiar?) Have fun with your gigantic pile of points, can you actually cash them in somewhere or are they also virtually....pointless? I truly am sorry that you have such a pathetic existence in this world that telling me I am ugly is a high priority. Even though you are a stranger and your opinion should not matter, I have to say this did hurt my feelings a tiny bit. I don't expect you to care (obviously) but know that even though you have taken time out of your day to be cruel, I still have compassion for you and do wish you well. So, in your imaginary world of points..self declared zero points for me because if my compassion for a stranger counts I give my points to you to add to your pile.

So glad this has reminded me how different we all can be. Something in his world says it is ok to talk to another person like that. Something in my world tells me, it is not. ( I know my nickname for him isn't much better, but this is a lesson for me also and I do feel a little bad about the immaturity of my response). I think the difference is love. I have an abundance of it in my life (thank goodness) and I feel sorry for him, as he must be in very short supply (at least he has his "points"?). I know guys (and girls) get away with this kind of behaviour all the time, but it is unacceptable. We all need to treat each other with more compassion and respect, even if we develop an opinion of someone based on first impressions or physical appearance, we have no idea who they are on the inside. What a limiting perspective passing judgement on someone is. Give people a chance, we all have the potential to amaze....

Piper Deggan Designs

2010-07-19T15:04:00.000-07:00

My friend Piper is an incredibly talented artist, and has just opened her shop at etsy featuring her vintage handmade Jewelery. Here is an exerpt from her shop:

"I am delighted by color and texture, reflections of light and my love of nature. May you be well and truly blessed. All my unique jewelry designs are handmade with love in my Studio on Vancouver Island overlooking the Ocean and Mountains. Gemstones, copper, crystal, pearls, ribbon, vintage treasures and more are combined using my mixed media artisan skills. I hope you find something to love. To see the quality of my work go to www.filbergfestival.com where I have been a seller."

If I could I would own every piece of jewelery she makes, but instead of being selfish I will share it with the rest of the world instead. Her attention to detail and her eye for color is inspiring. Please visit http://www.etsy.com/shop/piperddesigns to view.

Bad Mom Award

2010-05-05T16:45:00.000-07:00

So I have told this story to a couple of my cat loving friends, and decided it was cute/funny enough to share on a public scale.

A while ago I wanted to be the "responsible" cat owner, and invest in a magnetic operated door for my cat to let herself in and out at her leisure. I really liked being able to let her outside for the day, but got worried when it was gross and stormy out about her not being able to get back in the house. I thought this 80$ investment would solve the problem.

After installing it, a few successful days went by where Izzy managed to figure out how to get in and out, and I'd have to say, it was pretty cool.

But on the 4th day, I called Izzy to come home for dinner, and I hear what sounds like tin dragging along the pavement. My cat was coming sulking home with a tin can and other small metal object attached to her magnet collar.

She had the look of beyond embarassment. I knew I was going to get major attitude all night.

So the bad mom award goes to me, for torturing my poor cat and allowing a tin can to claim residence on her collar. I bet her little cat friends made fun of her.

falalalalalalala...............la?

2009-12-13T22:59:00.000-08:00

Only Lady Gaga can turn a lovely christmas carol into a vivid song about spreading stds. (at least that is what it sounds like to me)

If you haven't heard it, here are some of the lyrics (in the tune of tis the season to be jolly)

Light me up put me on top falalalalalalalala
the only place you want to be is underneath my christmas tree
Hoe hoe hoe under the mistetoe
my christmas tree is delicious

and my favorite
here, here, here
the best time of the year
take of my stockings we're
im spreading christmas cheer

After hearing this song, I only pray shes taking medication to prevent spreading her christmas cheer throughout the rest of the year...yikes.

so gross. I wish I could give her props at least for being original, but shes stolen her groove from gwen stefani and her vulgarity from lil kim. Comon...its soooooooooooo been done before *yawn*.

Thanks Lady Gag for being such a classy lady.

Happy Holidays everyone.

Just another day in the life.........

2009-12-11T22:53:00.000-08:00

I should have seen this one coming....

A little while back, I had left things until the last minute (so unlike me.....) and completely ran out of cat food before I went to work for the day. (the issue here is that I have a CAT who eats...btw.) And she doesn't eat normal cat food thanks to an overprotective sorta crazy mom (me). So I buy her organic cat food. The downfall to this choice is the only place that sells it is in Victoria. So after work (more like..7pm, like I said I procrastinate.) I drove to Victoria to get her some food.

Wow this is a really good story so far. *yawn.*

Anyways. I don't remember if I said before or not..but after the previous vehicle "situations" the lil red neon retired for a while and needed to be replaced.

Replaced by a 1979 Fiat X1/9. I know...who replaces a sedan with a convertible sportscar? Well it was only $600 and it was cute.

So I drive said vehicle into town when (not for the first time) it broke down, right before one of the biggest (if not THE biggest) intersection on the way into Victoria on the highway. It is rush hour and my four way flashers are not working. So I get out, wait for the light to turn green and start to push.

Apparently I was not pushing my vehicle through the intersection fast enough, because dirtbag behind me felt compelled to honk. I like to think he was simply "cheering" me on and honking in support of my ability to be proactive about the situation instead of just sitting in the car and crying (which I would have much preferred.) I would like to tell him that next time it would be more appropriate to actually get out of his car and offer to help, but I'd probably have to agree to follow him on twitter or release my personal information for distribution to online marketers to get something like "help" these days.

As I push my car through the intersection and off to the side of the road, I notice a sausage fest in the vehicle passing me on my left. (I mean...a car full of teenage boys.) Who are videotaping me with their cell phone. Well I am making an assumption there, but I couldn't honestly tell you what else they would be doing holding a phone out their window and laughing....perhaps checking the weather or calling their grandma? I hope that shit gets denied on youtube for lack of substance and purpose.

To get the car to stop rolling and prevent it from going down the bank, I drag my knees and toes (one of which were broken) along the gravel and hop inside the car.

Before I continue I have to mention I have been having an epic battle against Rogers lately and am now on my third blackberry in less then a year. Of course said blackberry was not working when this situation occurred, so my hike to the nearest gas station ensued.

Gas Station #1: No $ for payphone, would not let me use their business phone even after begging.

Gas Station #2: Attendant was acting very suspicious and whispering to her friends. Made me self conscious for a moment but after canoodeling with her co worker, she finally handed the phone over to me and said "OMG IVE SEEN YOUR TATTOO ON GOOGLE."

Now at this point....I am overwhelmed. (For clarification purposes....she actually meant MY tattoo, I think I have talked about how I am far more popular then Lindsay Lohan when it comes to my "breathe" tattoos life on the internet.)

She went on to tell me that the term breathe means a lot to her and her sister, they love to sing the song...or something. It was a really nice moment though, took me out of my woe is me moment and made me acknowledge that my encounter with this human wouldn't have occurred had I not had this little hiccup lead me to it.

I get ahold of my dad, who comes to my rescue AGAIN. I think like 98.5 % of my stories end in my mother or father come save me.

While we are fixing the car, I see a dude on a bike watching us from down the road. He waits until we get the car up and running, then says "oh, I see you got er runnin again. good on you..... can you give me a ride home"?

The glow from my earlier encounter with the energetic bubbly teenager quickly turns into (insert the complete opposite of "glowing" here.)

A RIDE??!?!?! WTF? YOU ARE ASKING ME, WITH THE TWO PERSON VEHICLE FOR A RIDE WHEN YOU HAVE A PERFECTLY DECENT BICYCLE? WHERE WERE WE SUPPOSED TO PUT IT EXACTLY? NEXT TIME YOU ARE THINKING OF ASKING SOMETHING FOR NOTHING, I WOULD SUGGEST TO BE A BIT MORE DISCREET AS YOU WATCH AND WAIT FOR US TO FIX YOUR PREFERRED METHOD OF TRANSPORTATION.

I kindly said "no we are going in the other direction". what a lie. hey dude, if you exist in the Internet world I LIED TO YOU and I don't even feel a little bad about it.

I need a laugh

2009-11-19T18:26:00.001-08:00

Long day. A good way for me to cheer myself up quickly is to talk about silly things that I have done. There is nothing easier then to laugh at yourself. It's like telling a joke and being the only one laughing. In my books, I think you are the shit if you can laugh at your own jokes because really....you've got it made. Hours of entertainment. Anyways, enough rambling, lets get to the goods. This time around, I am going to talk about my online dating experiences (catastrophes?).

Scenario #1: So this one wasn't so much a "date" but it did guarantee me to not get a date in the future.

I found someone on facebook being somewhat creepy and searching for "geocaching" in their interest. I found a fellow close to my age and we started chatting. We hit it off right away and decided to hang out shortly after. I don't usually jump into things so quickly but it seemed like we would get along and I really needed a caching partner. (if you don't know what geocaching is, go to www.geocaching.com)

We went to find our first cache, and I managed to fall off of a log into the ocean.
Kind of embarrassing, but I did have at least another pair of shoes in my car.
Which just so happened to be locked, with the keys inside.
I then had to call my father to unlock it.
Can anyone else say that their dad has been present at their first blind date?
After 20 minutes, my dad and his friend showed up to let me in my car. Changed my shoes and fired up the vehicle.
My gas gauge had stopped working, but I didn't know it yet and we barely made it to the gas station before running out of gas.
Then I got lost.
Needless to say, the guy was kind but not to interested in continuing anything. (platonic or romantic.)

Scenario #2: I went on a date with a guy I had met once before and managed to make an alright first impression. Geocaching was involved in our first meeting and I survived, so he was willing to go for dinner with me. My glasses had broken just before (see post for details on how I managed to break my glasses while changing a flat tire.)
My depth perception wasn't so great that night, and when I reached across the table to take a drink of my cranberry juice, I miscalculated my reach and spilt my drink all over the table, AND HIS LAP. Needless to say, that was also our late date.

I was planning on mentioning some other situations, but I decided two would be enough for tonight. On a more serious note, what is up with people on Internet dating sites anyways? I think it is way to simple. People are constantly looking to make sure that nothing else better comes up. I would much rather meet a human being in person in a natural environment then from behind a computer screen. I think it just contributes to our worlds lack of ability to communicate in real life. The Internet is a scary place, but I guess if it weren't for the Internet, you wouldn't be on my blog, reading about my online dating experiences. And I wouldn't have a platform to rant about meaningless crap either, so I guess you could say I am thankful. (Thanks Internet.)

ho hum. my dog just took a piss on the carpet. my rent increased by 20$ and it snowed last night. But I just pulled out a fresh batch of oatmeal cookies so it sort of balances out i guess.

Holiday Dis-ease

2009-11-16T19:45:00.000-08:00

Dearest Wal-Mart,

I forgive you for accidentally playing Christmas music in the middle of November. I understand that 12 is an overwhelming number and it is easy to forget that November is only the 11th month of the year. Don't worry to much, a few quick trips to the electric chair will cure your customers of their Christmas Carol induced whistling psychosis.

It is however in your best interest to never do this again. Some serious damage to your way to early display of CHRISTMAS TREES might occur.....just a warning, it's not a threat or anything (yes it is.)

p.s. Thank you also for turning the only kind of toothpaste i like into "Hannah Montana" Brand. Nothing says good morning sunshine like a teeny bopper giving me the eyes while I brush my teeth.

Semi Truck SUPRISE!!!

2009-11-13T18:20:00.000-08:00

So this happened a little while ago, but I guess I really had to let it settled in before I shared this "experience". (possible somewhat flattering non sleeping nightmare......) Let me explain.

So, when I was just finished college I was a bright and shiny graphic designer ready to take on the world, except I had no contacts and had no idea what I wanted to be creating. Somehow, (probably compliments of some unsuccessful online dating community) I started talking to this guy who told me his company needed a logo. I didn't have much else to do and was intrigued at the idea how how I put zero effort in trying to land the job. Not knowing anything about the industry (or real life contracts) I decided to draw up a quick proof and send it off to see if they liked my direction. I heard nothing back and assumed they thought my work was either a.shit b. they weren't a real company and it was actually some 80 yr old man pretending to own a company to get my attention or c. they found someone else. For years I didn't think of it, and the logo design disappeared into the world of the discarded, incomplete and forgotten designs of the abyss that is my old hard rive. Lost forever (Or so I thought....)

Flash forward to 3 years later. I am driving along in my work van on the highway, when I notice a semi truck coming up to pass me on the left up a hill. Pfft I thought, silly semi you have no idea of the hill you are about to ascend on, you will see me passing your sorry butt later. I look up to see who this speeding semi belongs to....and I choked on my water and spit it all over my lap.

There on the side of the shiny silver semi was the logo I had created 3 years prior in all its glory. (And to think this was just my "rough draft version.")

I never knew I could feel so many emotions all at once. I was shocked, flattered, confused and angry at what I saw. Was I going crazy? Was it just a dream that I had actually created this? I mean its not everyday you get to see something you made (for a company you actually assumed didn't even exist in the first place) on the side of a giant truck.I don't want to disclose which company this was for, because I am sure they are a somewhat reputable company with good product (or they wouldn't exist, especially in the world in this current economic state).

I just find it so strange, that is about the only word that can really explain it.Oh the reason I pay for cable is on. (No its not something productive and educational like the news or the discovery channel.....it is The City.....so shoot me.)

am i acting my age?

2009-10-12T20:29:00.000-07:00

So I am going to be 25 in a few days. Excuse me while I take a moment to throw up a little in my mouth.....

Anyways. In celebration of turning 1/4 century old (my parents will like that. It is in fraction form instead of money. This inside comment will not make sense to anyone else, but believe me, this is a good thing.) I have compiled a list of the top 25 things that remind me I am getting older. By compiled, I mean I thought of them just now, at the top of my head while I procrastinate on doing the laundry or anything else equally productive. Begin.

25. I change the radio station when music comes on, so I can find things like the road report or the news.
24. I enjoy the "flashback" lunch music hours on the radio station.
23. I know what a nightgown is. I may or may not own one.
22. People call me "ma'am or lady." Ha! If they only knew.
21. I think clothing over 30$ is expensive.
20. I wake up before 9am on the weekend.
19. I wake up early before 9am on the weekend to attend garage sales.
18. My idea of a good gift is a weed eater, it makes me happy.
17. I own placemats.
16. I am appauled when I see a young person texting on their cell phone and painting their nails at work.
15. I am jealous of young persons ability to use a cash register with wet finger nails.
I4. I use my cell phone to call people.
13. I took a break from formulating this list to put in another load of laundry....out of guilt.
12. I still don't understand twitter. I only know it as a somewhat useful and at times innacurate form of news updates.
11. I went to San Francisco primarily to see the Academy of Sciences.
10. My first CD was New Kids On The Block
9. I get excited when I see "reduced for quick sale" at the supermarket.
8. I have plugged my ears at more than one rock concert.
7. My friend Alex brings my new wrinkles to my attention (just in case I wasn't aware)
6. I don't dye my hair in an attempt to have more money to pay bills.
5. Starting a program of interest at university would mean finishing when I am over the age of 30.
4. I traded in my subscription from Lou Lou and Cosmo for Canadian Living and Scientific Mind
3. I talk to my pets like they listen and understand what I am saying.
2. I have to set a time limit for myself before I enter the Michaels store.

1. I have been loved on so much by family and friends in my life thus far, you would think I would be turning 100 in order to fit it all in :)

Thank you to everyone who is a part of my life. I love you all so much.

helllllllllllp

2009-09-13T01:10:00.000-07:00

why does this look like vomit on a page.

Lisa needs to....get a life?

2009-02-22T21:00:00.000-08:00

I am totally copying this idea from a friend, but i think the results are potentially, catasrophically accurate? (at least for my experience.)

The idea is...to type "your name, needs" into google and see what comes up for you. I was thinking earlier today how creepy cool it was that my breathe tattoo is searchable on google images (I fear it is as famous as I will ever get) and this inspirsed me to follow in the footsteps of others and see what this little experiment reveals for me. Here are a few at the top of the list:

1. Lisa needs braces
2. Lisa needs to get a life OMG I WAS KIDDING WHEN I TITLED THIS POST LISA NEEDS TO GET A LIFE. oh the irony.
3. Lisa needs a tree
4. Lisa needs a home
5. Lisa needs a new concealer
6. Lisa needs wooden spatculas? (plural...really one isn't enough?)
7. Lisa needs help!
8. Lisa needs to get away from family
9. Lisa needs a bigger grin and a lot more warmth
10. Lisa needs......... you.

Speechless is needy Lisa.

Single on Valentines is shit?

2009-02-14T08:27:00.000-08:00

So I have this thing called blogpatrol that tells me where people are referencing my blog from. It is usually empty, as it hardly gets any traffic other then my mom (who can't even read it) but I'm ok with that. But yesterday, I see that someone has stumbled across my blog by typing in "Single on Valentins is shit." I don't understand how this could be possible, so I have to see for myself, and there is my blog in all its glory, the first site to come up on google. Now don't get me wrong, I was stoked to see I was actually googable for the first time in my life (yay) (well actually second, you used tobe able to type breath tattoo into google images and it would show up first but all of a sudden i dissapeared and lindsay lohan was all over the place...weird..not like I check or anything.) Anyways, What I am trying to say is, I have never said Single on Valentines is shit. I have no idea how google managed to associate those particular keywords with my blog, perhaps it can read my mind? I wouldn't say being single on valentines is shitty, I have written in the past at actually how positive an experience it can be (sweatpants at home with junkfood and sappy movies, or even sweatpants out in public if you are adventuruous.) So I remain perplexed but sickly charmed.

Because I am enviro friendly I like to recycle, and because I like to recycle I will post my old valentines day spiffs for you to enjoy. (yeah right. It's cuz I'm lazy and can't think of anything witty or charming to write this year.)

http://lisabellesworld.blogspot.com/2008/02/fat-naked-dangerous.html

http://lisabellesworld.blogspot.com/2007/02/happy-valentines-day-and-cupcakes-and.html

On that note, Happy Saturday y'all. Go out and get your VD on.

(For those of you to whom I sent this out as a link, I apologize. I am not skilled enough in the facebook world to figure out how to simply send you an image. Please accept this as your valentines card, if you managed to make it to the end of this post without going what the f*%&, congrats.)

It always comes back to you...

2009-02-13T23:29:00.000-08:00

Why did you have to set the bar so high?
I expect too much from people because of you.
It always has to come back to you, and you don't even realize it.
Even if I were to tell you to your face, you still wouldn't get it.
You are a gift to each life you touch. I hope one day you will see your full potential.
My mind holds on to so many memories. I wish I would have known in the simplicity of those moments,what it would mean to me now. Maybe I would have warned myself not to keep a place in my heart for you. Perhaps there would be room for someone else.

OUCH, MY MOST OF ME.

2009-02-13T10:11:00.000-08:00

So this is a rather personal and embarrassing topic to be writing about, but I believe that other women can learn from my mistakes. I have been commercially persuaded to purchase a product that did not to what it originally is intended for. Let this be a reminder that people in commercials are paid to pretend to enjoy a product.

Cut to woman in shower – using a hair removal product on her legs which appear to already be stubble free. Why would she be doing that anyway is my question. That should have been seen as a warning sign to not proceed.

I, being the product persuaded person that I am went out and bought this amazing time saver dealy. Oh the simplicity of not having to shave your legs, but simply apply a cream that will make it all disappear while you shower, oh the bliss. (Oh the nightmare.)

I applied said cream to my legs ignoring the warning that clearly states to “test product on small area of skin and wait 24 hours. If irritation occurs, do not use this product.” Pfft yeah right, who has time for that. I have hairy legs now and I want to get rid of it now, not 24 hours from now.
I figured that the tingling turning to stinging sensation was to be expected and continued on with the normal routine. Suddenly my routine turns pain induced panic and I wipe the crap off my legs as fast as humanly possible (also ignoring the warnings to NOT SCRUB the area. I didn’t want any trace of this crap left on my body.)

I step out of the shower and pat my legs dry, like I was told, hoping the worst was over. It wasn’t.

I now have a swollen painful rash all over my legs, resembling that of a lobstery skin feels like it is on fire. I am wearing a skirt and leggings. Everyone tells me I look great, but little do they know it’s the only thing I can wear that doesn’t cause a severe burning sensation to my calves.

Thank god I didn’t use this anywhere else on my body, I fear the pain would be too much to tolerate.

LESSON FOR TODAY: There is no easy way out. Take the 5 minutes to shave your damn legs moron.

Comon & Rescue Me!

2009-02-12T10:10:00.000-08:00

A couple of weeks ago, I had a day. It snowed, I was ok with that. I was having a glorious day at work regardless and nothing could dampen the mood for me. No particular reason for my excessive happiness, just blissfully enjoying being alive. That’s allowed. Obviously some other power thought it wasn’t, and just to test my capabilities and tolerance I was given a rather interesting afternoon.

After work I finish brushing off the dusting of snow from the car (with an actual scraper might I add, not a credit card or some other object whose purpose was not originally intended for snow removal) when I notice I have an excessively flat tire. O.k. No biggie. Because of my dad, I know how to change a tire. So I get out the spare and begin hositing up the side of the car. Once I am all ready to go I realize that in the midst of my ability and ambition to change said tire, I had forgotten to loosen the nuts BEFORE the tire was off the ground. So, back to stage one. With a bit of a struggle, I manage, and again begin hoisting up the car. A couple of people from work offer to help but I decline because hello, I am superwoman after all. Just as I pull off the tire to replace it with the spare, my glasses fall off my face, into the snow, and I kneel on them. In one fluid motion, I manage to break my glasses right in half.

I now proceed to finish putting on the spare tire partially blind. (ok so it wasn’ t that bad, but glasses are meant for seeing. So when you don’t have them initially, it’s rather difficult.)
Content with what I had accomplished, I was ready to get rolling. Pack everything back in the car, am about to fire it up and I remember three things.
1. The tire exchange is closed
2. My dad’s birthday dinner is scheduled for...10 minutes ago
3. I cannot drive over 60 km on the spare, and have a half an hour of driving to do on the highway, which happens to also be covered in a blanket of snow.

I end up calling my dad, on the way to his own party to come and pick me up. Funny how most of these situations end with a phone call to my father. Lucky girl I am. I leave my car at work, have a great dinner, my eyes semi adjust without the glasses, and I have forgotten my dad’s birthday card in the car. Not even close to perfection, but it will have to do. Ironically the card I got for my dad says something along the lines of “Because of my dad I know what to do in every situation” inside reads “call dad.”

I have yet to give him the card.

FYI: I now have my new glasses on, and it is glorious. I actually needed new lenses but didn't have any money to buy them and because of this misfourtune, I ended up getting new ones (paid for by mum. thank you times a million, my headaches are gone.) The following day I also took my car to the tire exchange to have it replaced. Turns out the tire was never put on correctly in the first place, and I managed to get it repaired for free, because for the first time in my life I told them what I felt I deserved rather then getting pushed around.

Sometimes it takes longer, but most things happen to open the door to something else. I got a new pair of glasses and a moment of self assurance, so I would say this worked out pretty well for me all things considered.

THAT MAKES ME WANT TO VOMIT...MEGAN FOX GIVE ME A BREAK.

2009-02-10T16:12:00.001-08:00

Ok, normally I don't write about celebrities. I don't have the time or energy to care what they had for breakfast two weeks ago, or that they are preparing for their 8th divorce. But I seriously cannot help but comment on statements being made by Megan Fox. Most guys would likely know who I am talking about. I actually happen to have a non lesbian girl crush on this amazingly gorgeous human being. In my eyes, shes perfect. She has amazing style and a no bullshit attitude. I would do anything to be like her. (Sounds a bit soul selling and superficial, but we all have our moments. For me, this is one of those times.)

She was quoted to have said she feels like a transvestite with no self esteem, and that her "manly looks make her want to vomit." seriously, stop right there. If you are going to walk around with those looks and continue to complain like that, I am going to have to intervene. God forbid you would have to look like me miss Megan. I wouldn't want to hear what you would have to say about that.

I, like any other girl with a low level of self esteem can't even begin to imagine how someone with so much beauty could feel just as insecure about themselves. I always have the thought in the back of my mind that if i was beautiful all my problems would be solved. It is a bit dissapointing to find out that this may not be totally true. What can I blame my problems on now if not that! Help, I'm having a life moment.( a tiny ounce of sarcasm may be present here, but mostly because I don't want you to know that some of these thoughts may be true.)

Confession

2009-02-08T19:16:00.001-08:00

I don't like shopping.

I bet some of you are in disagreement, so let me explain.

I like forced social interaction.

I enjoy walking around looking at shiny objects and being asked by the sales clerk if i need help. Yeah I need help, but not the kind you can give me, but thanks for asking, your forced interaction with me as a customer is enough.

I like to buy ideas.

I have no money, but I appreacite being able to accumulate material objects if they are on sale. If I do buy something its likely because I am buying an idea that I will later want to replicate (and end up never doing so.) I am very craft oriented and see a project in most things. Micheals is a death trap for me, I have a time limit set most of the time before I enter.

I can't stand large masses of people who are easily distracted.

Going into Costco is my own personal hell. The only time I enter such a facility is when I have a list. Who goes to costco to browse? It's a place of wholesale, so im suggesting you do not impulse buy anything unless you want three or more of them.

I am easily overwhelmed.

For most shopping is a relaxing way to spend the afternoon. For me, its a challenge. I often have to hold onto other people to walk and look at something at the same time. My multitasking abilities dissapear and I am swallowed in a sea of people and slowly become blind and deaf. Forms of communication become obsolete and I am left to die a slow painful retail death. (ok so its not that bad, but how else can i explain it? you're not in my head.)

I never get what I came for.

I go in to find a pair of pants and I come out with fake flowers and a dress. I get home and still have no pants. What part of that is a good time?

I am easily affected by my environment.

Going into superstore is intoxicating and sobering at the same time. I get a yellow infused migraine after 0.5 seconds. Flowers and Chocolates and fluffy shit line the aisle. I am suddenly overwhelmed with a product placement induced need for companionship and chocolate.

All that aside, i really need this ring. Totally out of context but thats how i roll.

Bleck

2009-02-06T13:54:00.001-08:00

So I have been feeling pretty under the weather lately. Enough so to have to take the week off from work. I am hopeful to say that I am now on the mend, although im afraid that my invisibility may be wearing a little thin.

When one is not feeling well, they do not concern themselves with how they look, simply because most of their focus is put towards feeling better on the inside. My comfort comes in the form of a pink, fluffy, frilly housecoat with my nickname on it. My grandma, mum and I made it, and when i put it on it makes me feel better.

So after spending the week at my parents house to repair the damages of my broken little heart (literally) I hop into the car with cat and dog in tow and head for home. Not thinking twice about the pink housecoat and polka dot pink pajamas that are encompassing my body.

As I sing along to the radio, cat and dog both looking out the window I notice a camera crew. A whole lot of them. As I sit and wait for my turn at the 4 way stop, I realize that I am in fact on camera. They are videotaping me in all my sickly glory. So much for being anonymously and invisibly sick. Hello World. I give you Lisa, at her best. Pink housecoat and all.

Please let me know if I appear on your television screen in the near future. I would like to see what they have to say about my fashion statement. Warning: If you suddenly see a bunch of women in their mid 20's rocking pink housecoats, do not be alarmed. Its just the next trend I have started by accident. Happens all the time, no big deal, no need to stare. Move along.

Study this image thoroughly as it is the newest attire to hit the streets of....Shawnigan Lake.

...as the flashes blinded us in the photobooth

2008-12-13T21:21:00.001-08:00

So a while ago I took myself out on a date. And I had an amazing time. Went for dinner, did some window shopping, and to get really cliche I went in a photobooth then went to a musical. So fantastic. A kind man even offered to pay for my parking and I got two free things at my favorite store of all time (the patch.) Doesn't get much better then that. I have scanned my photobooth pictures as an example of what NOT to do in that tiny cubicle in your 10 seconds of fame..err frame. I didn't bother to fix the horrible exposure or the red glow shining from my skin but that is the beauty of these things. They are so totally awful that they are almost nice. ALMOST.

Just a tip, when you put your money in you better be ready or you will get exhibit #1.

Accepting Change

2008-12-09T08:48:00.000-08:00

My mediation for today was so bang on with where I am at in my life I must get sentimental (just for a moment) and share it with you.

The winds of change blow through our life, sometimes gently, sometimes like a tropical storm. Yes, we have resting places - time to adjust to another level of living, time to get our balance, time to enjoy the rewards. We have time to catch our breath.But change is inevitable, and desirable.Sometimes, when the winds of change begin to rustle, we're not certain the change is for the better. We may call it stress or a temporary condition, certain we'll be restored to normal. Sometimes, we resist. We tuck our head down and buck the wind, hoping that things will quickly calm down, get back to the way things were. Is it possible we're being prepared for a new "normal"?Change will sweep through our life, as needed, to take us where we're going. We can trust that our Higher Power has a plan in mind, even when we don't know where the changes are leading.We can trust that the change-taking place is good. The wind will take us where we need to go.
You are reading from the book:

The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie

Speaking of change I have been through a lot lately. It is funny how I can write about such mundane things and go on and on forever about nothing, but I fail to ever mention anything of real significance going on in my life. For some reason, I never talk about the things in life that REALLY matter. I think it is slightly out of fear of showing who I really am. Not that the me writing in this blog is any different......

Anyways. For a quick life update I have done the following in the past 6 months:
- bought my first home - that which I furnished for under 500 dollars.
- adopted a kitten named Isabel. She controls the world just in case you were wondering.
- Visited my hometown for the first time in 4 years
- Got a motorbike (Honda VTR 250) and my full bike license

I have done the following things within the past year or more:
- went on a cruise to alaska
- started geocaching - 1 more to go until my 50th find!
- Got a promotion at (at the addiction recovery center in which I work)
- Auditioned for Canadian Idol, only made it past the first round
- Sold my first piece of art

As you can see, deep down I am a fairly simple person. I just have the ability to develop complex insight in normal situations. Thus resulting in having a morsel of interesting things to write about.

Today is my life day. I needed it to be able to take care of some real life complexity involving student loan and MSP mishaps. I should probably pay my overdue fees at the movie store if I ever want to rent a movie again. *yawn* no wonder I am on my blog procrastinating.

Where is my mind and socks?

2008-12-06T10:20:00.000-08:00

So the other night, I and some co-workers of mine were taken out by our boss for a rather fancy dinner. I was not pre-warned as to the fancy factor of this fine dining facility, so I expressed my concern as my co-worker and I (last to arrive of course) entered the restaurant. For some reason, I felt compelled to comment "I hope I am dressed well enough for this place, it looks pretty fancy." As she opens the door she reassures me that I look lovely. In the midst of my inability to graciously accept a compliment and leave it at that I add "But my socks don't match!"

You can guess what happens next.

She starts laughing hysterically. It's contagious and I start laughing. We both enter through the foyer to realize.....Our entire party is sitting in awe at us as we come around the corner....and along with them, the others in this TINY space of complete silence. The only thing we know to do....is laugh even more.

oopsies.

We had an amazing dinner, easy for me to say the best I have ever had. We had a great time with good company. As we leave we say our goodbyes and thank yous (for about the 5th time). My friend and I walking down the boardwalk to our cars as the others head up the hill to theirs I pull up my pants to reveal just how unmatched my socks were. And you thought the situation in the restaurant was bad. We practically had the entire town captured by our exuberant cackling. We couldn't move. Maybe when you see this picture you may see why:

When my life is busy and stressful - socks tend to be preeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeety far down on the priority list. I haven't had a matched pair in about a week. I figure it is time to tackle the laundry and get back to the sock matching. Maybe the chaos of the rest of my life will subside along with it. My unmatched socks are definitely a reflection of how the rest of my life is going, so maybe if I put them together, everything else will follow? Wishful thinking? I'm hoping for a miracle. Not setting my hopes up to high or anything.

The Pixies say it best

With your feet in the air and
Your head on the ground
Try this trick and spin it,
Your head will collapse
But theres nothing in it.
And you'll ask yourself

Where is my mind?

overdue, and paying for it

2008-12-01T20:56:00.000-08:00

So I got a phone call from the local moving renting facility kindly reminding me that I have late fees incurring on a movie I have rented. If the movie store can have a system efficient enough to have a previously recorded message call me to remind me of my running bill of late fees, why can't more significant organizations such as BC student loan services call to tell me important things like "we tried to take money out of your old account and forgot you no longer use it even though you told us a month ago and now you going to incur overage fees because we can withdraw money when it does not exist." The library is even organized enough to let me know via email or phone, whichever I prefer, that my books are GOING to be due soon, and also offer me the option to renew. How is that possible, they don't even get any money from me. I am skeptical.

My phone company can't even tell me that I am magically making calls from the United States when I am clearly well within the Canadian border. I don't even use my phone and they get over 50 dollars a month from me. I wonder what would happen if they started working non profit, maybe something would actually be right for once.

I wrote this thinking I would feel a little better after whining, but now i am even more perplexed then before.

Life Lessons

2008-11-30T08:25:00.000-08:00

Little people are so fantastic. I overheard an argument going on between to little brothers the other day which ended in a sharp "I hate your stupid bum" remark as the youngest peeled out of the driveway on his tricycle. For a 3 year old, those are some pretty intense words. Whatever they were arguing about must have been rather heated and important. I secretly wish that I could end disagreements in comments such as this and get away with it. Just like how when I see a little boy run full boar into a glass window at the mall, I feel bad for the poor kid and the egg that will develop on his forehead in a few seconds, but I am also jealous. Jealous that the mistakes and choices I make in life have a far less instant and abrupt response. I bet he knows right away that running into the wall wasn't the best idea. Life would be so much easier if at the moment you make a decision you are likely to regret, a glass wall instantly rises letting you know it was the wrong one. But no. If this were to happen, we would mostly likely run right through it and be left to pick up the pieces in the aftermath. As adults we have to learn from our choices and mistakes. There is always underlying motives for our actions, like a secret code to decipher. How bloody infuriating. It is even more frustrating when I have learnt the same lessons time and time again. Its mad you know, to do the same thing over and over again expecting a different result.

Oh to be 3 years old again.

p.s. I have already failed in my attempt to accept compliments. I didn't want to admit it right away, but it really was only one day into the challege. So, here we go again. Attempt #2 begins.

Thank You. That's it, just thank you

2008-11-26T20:33:00.000-08:00

So at work I have been given an assignment....of sorts. I have been aware of this particular characteristic of mine for quite some time now. (some may call it a flaw...I call it word vomit). Anyways, my mission is to accept a compliment without any with and or butts to deter the conversation as to why I do not deserve such a compliment in the first place. Cue examples:

You: "Wow Lisa, I love your hair."
Me: " I haven't dyed it in over 6 months, I am not dying it again because I can't afford to anymore, see my roots they are hideous...etc."

You: " I love your shirt"
Me: " Oh this? I got it second hand at Value Village which I might add is not thrifty shopping, it's like second hand shopping for rich people...(insert a lengthy one sided conversation about the costly old navy jeans to follow here)"

You: " You made (insert some form of artistic/creative capability here)? It's amazing"
Me: "You won't believe how easy it was" or " I got this inspiration from here and here so I can't take the credit as it wasn't in its original form my idea...etc etc etc..."

By now you may start to understand what I am getting at. Compliment me directly and you are about to endure on a rather lengthy explanation about a. why I don't deserve the compliment or b. a complete explanation about how whatever it is you are trying to acknowledge came to be WITHOUT my help or direction.

It isn't as thought I don't truly believe I deserve (most) of the compliments I receive. This is why I am making a conscious effort to thank people and accept the compliment as just that, an acknowledgement of ME period.

If you wish to help me out on this endeavour feel free to leave a comment/compliment/acknowledgement or even criticism. Another thing that comes with the ability to graciously accept a compliment is to be able to do the same with criticism (in a constructive manner). I do ask that you keep the character bashing to a minimum but if you honestly have something you would like to say, please do. I figure if I have the opportunity to think about what I say before I say it on here, I may just be able to say thank you and leave it at that. Here goes nothing (or everything, depending on how you look at it?) oh god lisa just hit the publish button already....

Absolute

2008-05-07T23:36:00.000-07:00

My meditation for today...

Absolute Honesty: Both with ourselves and with others, in word, deed, and thought.

Absolute Unselfishness: To be willing, wherever possible, to help others who need our help.

Absolute Love: You shall love with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind. And. . . you shall love your neighbor as yourself.

Absolute Purity: Purity of mind, of body, and of purpose.

There is only 4 absolutes. Contrary to populary belief, Absolute Vodka is not the 5th included in this list. If it were, that would be completely ridiculous, so don't even think about it.

In-fact-uation

2008-05-01T21:42:00.000-07:00

So I was just thinking...

I wonder if people prefer the "idea" of me, over the actual flesh and bone version. Does anyone else ever wonder such things? Sometimes I find the idea of myself far more appealing then the me that I actually consist of and I would hate to be a dissapointment for someone whose "idea" of me is different then the real life version, but one question remains.

How am I any different? It's still the same me. Always has been always will be. Sometimes I tend to give people to much of myself, but I promise I'm not being anyone else but....me.

So what's the deal...exactly? Does any one have advice on how to be someone else? That would come in handy in certain situations, I seem to struggle with that piece.

Did i miss something?

2008-04-25T21:29:00.000-07:00

Realize

2008-04-25T07:20:00.000-07:00

Take time to realize,
That your warmth is
Crashing down on in.

Take time to realize,
That I am on your side
Didn't I, Didn't I tell you.

But I can't spell it out for you,
No it's never gonna be that simple
No I cant spell it out for you

If you just realize what I just realized,
Then we'd be perfect for each other and will never find another
Just realize what I just realized
We'd never have to wonder if we missed out on each other now.

Take time to realize
I'm on your side didn't I, didn't I tell you.
Take time to realize
This all can pass you by didn't I tell you.

But I can't spell it out for you,
no it's never gonna be that simple
no I can't spell it out for you.

If you just realized what I just realized
then we'd be perfect for each other then we'd never find another
Just realize what I just realized
we'd never have to wonder if we missed out on each other now.

It's not always the same
no it's never the same if you don't feel it too.
If you meet me half way
If you would meet me half way.
It could be the same for you.

If you just realize what I just realized
then we'd be perfect for each other then we'd never find another
Just realize what I just realized
we'd never have to wonder
Just realize what I just realized
If you just realize what I just realized

missed out on each other now
missed out on each other now
Realize, realize
realize, realize...........

- lyrics by Colbie Caillat

DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP for the mind of a 17 year old.

2008-03-31T21:59:00.000-07:00

As I was doing some "spring cleaning" aka procrastinating at my book shelf as I attempt to remove some to create space for the masses of others (unsuccessfully) I stumbled across a book of old poems and I found this little ditty:

BROKEN LOVE - (sounds intense)

You tell me you don't love me,
But how could this be true?
I don't think you understand
How much pain you've put me through.

You say that you're just changing,
Your feelings aren't as strong.
But how can you fall out of love with someone,
Who's never done you wrong?

Someone who still loves you,
So deep within their heart;
This heart that you have broken
And torn it right apart.

I know you'll never love me,
I cannot change the way you feel.
I can only remember the times
When I knew your love was real.

I must find the strength inside me,
Hidden so deep within.
To find out where you stop,
And where I must begin.

Now this was written after rather lengthy relationship - longest one to date in fact - But when I read this to myself, the first thought that comes to mind is "Wow, this must have been written by someone with poor writing ability who just got out of a hefty marriage." So it's quite funny to read it now and know that in the eyes of a 17 year old girl, this breakup was like the end of my world (as I knew it.)

To me it is a reminder of how much I have grown and accomplished over the years. The feelings exposed in this poem feel like lightyears away, but still so close to home. I often find my mind wandering back to this place of blissfulness and becoming caught up in that moment all over again - but then I am quickly drawn back to reality (or at least woken up by my alarm clock.)

Which reminds me. I have been having such absurd dreams lately. A lot of them I have all these materialistic things - Fancy house on the ocean, fancy car, jewelry that I don't wear. I am often throwing huge parties - for people whose faces I cannot really make out - only to find myself withdrawn and ignored, and not making any attempt whatsoever to socialize with ANYONE at my OWN party. A couple of times I eventually end up being attacked by a bear or alligator on my beach or roof ( I know...this is where it gets weird, I'll spare you the details) But even though there are hundreds of people around, no one comes to my aid. Could this be a sign that I am my own worst enemy? That I am the only one standing in my way of achieving what I want? When I wake up I always feel like I am subconciously reminding myself that it doesn't matter how much "stuff" I accumulate, I will never be happy until I am happy with ME. Ugh, I totally hate it when my dreams are right. Why can't it be all cupcakes and rainbows and clouds and flying and bliss instead of this hidden underlying meaning of life shit. I'm so over it.

And what's the deal with ALWAYS being chased by a bear (sometimes alligator) I'm tired of waking up to a heart beating a million miles a minute and having to remind myself that bears and animals cannot unlock doors and chase you into your house. So annoying.

In a funk...d

2008-03-05T22:17:00.000-08:00

So I am sort of in a funky mixed up state of mind at this particular moment(s) in time. You see, sometimes I am bit creepy and look at other peoples photographs on facebook. Well lets call it borderline creepy, bcuz I know that is SORT OF what they are there for.

(Wow, I just realized I dropped the F Bomb... oopsies. I swore I would never do that.)

But when I look at said person(s) photos, I think to myself, my goodness it certainly looks like they are having a fantastic time wherever they are doing whatever it is they may be doing. And then I start crying, balling actually. But why? I mean, I have a great time doing the things I do where I end up doing them, but through my own eyes, it does not appear the same. If you were to take a picture of me doing something I may consider a good time, It would usually involve my dog, a GPS that doesn't function quite as it should, possibly a friend, and 99.9% of the time, I would not be in it. So maybe that is the problem? Is it that I don't get the opportunity to show everyone what an absolute blast I am having because I am behind the lens, or is it the fact that I spend a lot of my time off doing adult things that are considered a neccesity and not so much a fantastic out of this world experience? Or maybe it is the fact that quite a few of the pictures I have seen that I feel envious of are taken during a "night out on the town" a pracitce that is extremely rare to someone like myself who usually only goes to the bar once a year, on my birthday, which often results in myself going to bed an anticlimatic half hour before midnight.

Or maybe it is something deeper?

Most of the time I feel as though I am getting quite a bit out of life, ya know, lots of bang for my buck so to speak...but I am also often overwhelemed at how quickly time passes, and how many opportunities go unoticed as I rush through the routine of my so called life. There are so many endless possibilites I want to explore, but my body only allows me to be awake for a certain amount of time at a time before I start hallucinating. (which for some people, is a whole other level of fun, but I prefer to be at least somewhat in control of what I am seeing and doing at any given moment.)

I fear as though one day I am going to wake up, 80 years old and go WHAT THE HELL WAS ALL THAT ABOUT?

Fat. Naked. Dangerous

2008-02-14T21:42:00.000-08:00

No I am not talking about me...i'm talking about cupid. He who brings along the romantic for some, dreadful for most, unimagineative, consumerist-oriented and entirely arbitrary, manipulative and shallow interpretation of romance day. Cupid just like any other man....or little person with wings, was selfish. He wanted the attention of a beautiful woman so much, it eventually to her demise (with the help of her jealous mother-in-law of course.) Classic love story right there.

Another good one, is the story of St.Valentine himself. Nothing says love like murdering a priest who performed secret marrige ceremonies for soldiers. (They had to be secret because marrige was seen as a "distraction" for soldiers at war and took their mind off fighting.....GOD FORBID THAT TO EVER HAPPEN.)

Now, I don't have anything against valentines day. It is a chance for people in relationships to redeem themselves for the lack of love they (don't) display every other day of the year. But let me tell ya, I have been single for coming up on 5 years now and I honestly see no point in this holiday what so ever. I don't even get paid stat holiday pay for having to put up with all the sappy shit that goes on throughout the day. Don't get me wrong though, I am not bitter. I think it is important for people to rekindle their love for eachother and really show how much your better half means to you. But I have honestly just never been a fan. I love my family and I tell them that every day of my life, I do not need some almost meaningless holiday to do so.

I say all of this like I could care less if prince charming (or even just a below average joe ) got me a dozen roses or chocolate covered strawberries; but I am sure if this rare occasion were to actually happen to me, I may just have to graciously accept. Nothing says I love you like dead vegitation and fat-saturated sugar products.

I guess we will never know.

Just remember, one day in February isn't special, but YOU are. HA. right :P

post script

2008-02-06T22:54:00.000-08:00

is that what p.s. even stands for? i should really look into that.

it's obvious that I haven't written in my blog in decades. ok..maybe not since my birthday but whos counting, obviously i'm not because i'm no good at it.

I have been reading over some of the "dusty favorites" for inspiration and i really must say that I am extremely brilliant at making something out of nothing. It is amazing how absolutely nothing about my life is even remotely interesting, but I still manage to come up with some type of word vomit to take up a tiny portion of the giant intergalacitic space of web. K...that doesn't make sense but I had to try to make myself at least seem cool. I'm not fooling anyone though obviously, not even myself and usually thats pretty damn easy to do.

I have no idea where this post is going and it has taken me much longer to write then it should have as my chihuahua lulu demands to sit in between me and the laptop on my lap which doesn't make for a very comforatble situation but I love her to much to put her anywhere else. Shes got me sucked right into her little puppy scheme and its totally working.

i love everyone.

love lisa the average boring human being

bahumbug

2008-02-06T22:47:00.000-08:00

is feeling crapulent as a result of the dissapearance of her all time favorite blog post. The crapulence could also be caused by lack of sleep and eating another piece of deli meat on the day of expiration date which is of course against her religion..of sorts.

See post titled "best before" for clarification (or even more ridiculous ramblings) on expiration date......s

See post titled "Crapulent" for a more detailed definition of this particular..............feeling?

zzZzZzzZZzzzZZ......awkward.

For Will

2008-01-28T23:25:00.000-08:00

Am I that old?

2007-10-27T01:35:00.000-07:00

So I turned 23 on the 15th of this month. I don't feel 23, but I am constantly reminded by the amount of babies and marriages practically flooding my friends list these days. Don't get me wrong, they are beautiful babies and weddings, but are we all really at that point in our lives? One part of me fears I will never get to that stage in my life, but another is grateful that I have my entire life ahead of me to experience it. I guess my plan to adopt kind of helps me out in that i don't actually need a husband to start my own family. But I am FAR from ready to even think about adopting, financially and emotionally. But I have my little chi lulu and a pending "big brothers big sisters" application to help fill the void. :) I am much happier these days though. I couldn't tell you exactly why, only that I am finding myself appreciating the little things and taking time out for myself, and not letting anything hold me back from doing what I want to do. Like going to SEATTLE!!

My mom and I took a trip down to Seattle in celebration of my birthday. It was originally planned that my best friend would be joining me for a week, but she hurt herself pretty badly and couldn't make it out. Rather than wallow in my own self pity (don't get me wrong, I was upset but mostly for her having to experience pain) I decided to do most of the things we had planned anyways.

Seattle was a blast. We made every moment count, although a lot of the action happened right at the Canadian/American border. We witnessed some rather disrespectful and impatient behavior by those with Washington state plates. There is something at the border called the "nexus lane" for special people who don't have to wait and can bypass the lineups. God knows how you get into that elite group. But some people abuse the system. Like the group of girls who "pretended" they had no idea they were in this EXTREMELY well marked lane until OOPS they were at the gates. I guess because they were cute someone let them in line, but one other vehicle was not so fortunate. The massive truck behind him who obviously knows that NEXUS means no waiting, was so frustrated at the couple trying to merge into the regular lane that he drove up on the curb and the lawn to get past!!!! We were lucky that the car of girls made it through because we definitely got to hear some interesting stories as they tried to talk to each other over their music. Ladies, we now all know what bra sizes you are, what you think of each others boobs and who would give anything for a boob job. Quite entertaining, thank you.

We stayed at a pretty swanky hotel just outside of Seattle and definitely got a good deal compared to what we would have payed for something in the downtown core. We were also fortunate enough to utilize the free shuttle service it offered.

Something we learnt very quickly, but unfortunately a bit to late, was that no one in Seattle really knows where they are going, and all of the people you come in contact with in the service industry DO NOT speak English. So a good idea would be to NOT ask for directions, or really any questions for that matter. Although some of the people we did ask questions to were so cute when they answered yes to a non yes or no question. It really was surprising though to experience such a huge language barrier just crossing the border. Do all the white people think they are to high and mighty to have a respectable position as a bus driver or guest service agent? The streets definitely have something to be desired, and often reek of urine. The city of Victoria would be in uproar and riots would break out constantly if we ever let our city get to that state. But it all builds character, I mean its not called "Sin City" for no reason.

Also to the fellow in the convenience store across the street from our hotel, just because we are from Canada doesn't mean we are stupid. We know how to count change so save yourself the trouble and refrain from attempting to short change us ever again. Even if it is only 6 cents.

When times were rough (like getting lost for 12 blocks on skid row in the pouring rain...literally..) and moments of "I'm not doing this anymore" arose (like when a very sketchy person whose sex still remains in question was following me) my mom was there to pull me through (as was the glass of stoli I insisted was non alcoholic that I managed to chug down in about 10 seconds flat.)

We went to the Experience Music Project and let me tell you "experience" is an understatement. We sang in a vocal booth who converted our voices to a very sultry males voice simultaneously (boy was that weird/cool). We also created our very own rock band with the original title of Lisabelle and...mum. Lisabelle being the lead singer and mum being the amazing drummer to back me up. It is kind of one of those you had to be there moments but it was AWESOME.

With my amazing itinerary and travel planning skills we also managed to squeeze in the space needle, downtown shopping, an underground tour, and some more shopping at the mall across from our hotel. I couldn't have spent my birthday with a better person or had a better time. THANKS MOM!!! Here are some more pictures from our trip compliments a la mum of the underground tour (seriously, right under the sidewalks you can hear people walking overhead.), of the best cupcakes we have ever had (accompanied by the cutest girl who has no idea where BC or Canada is), a cute park in the middle of downtown, and myself at the space needle.

Oh say can you......see?

2007-10-25T01:23:00.000-07:00

A couple of weeks ago, my mother and her good friend dragged me to the Memorial Center (stadium in Victoria) straight after finishing a graveyard shift (for which I had been awake 20 hours) to audition for the chance to sing the national anthems at the Salmon Kings Hockey games. Unaware of the giant mass of dog hair all over my fleece vest, I stumbled into give it a go. I didn't practice much on the way down, partially because I didn't even realize I was about to audition until 10 minutes prior, but mostly because I know the national anthems like the back of my hand.....right?

After hearing my moms friend Yvette's renditions, which were amazing it was my turn. "It's almost over" Forcing a smile as I approached the judges table completely disheveled and glossy eyed. After a quick introduction (aka nervous giggling at jokes I didn't really understand) I began to sing, only to....stop..... a few words later. I drew a blank.

That's right ladies and gentlemen. Lisa the human jukebox whose memory bank is forever doomed to be uselessly filled with song lyrics, FORGOT THE WORDS TO THE NATIONAL ANTHEM!!! I mean even though it was the American Anthem, it was still just as humiliating. I must say, those judges have no idea what they had just witnessed. The first time not only in my somewhat non existent singing career, but in my ENTIRE LIFE I had ever forgotten the lyrics to anything. The girl who remembers every word of the swiffer sweeper commercial from like 1995, and baby got back by sir mix alot, couldn't come up with a line from a song she'd supposedly been singing her whole life. oh my word.

Not only did I forget the next line, but I waited a good solid 20 seconds to come up with "...what is the next line???" I mean, WHO ASKS THE JUDGES WHAT THE NEXT LINE IS TO THE SONG YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE SINGING? To make matters even worse, I don't think they had really been listening, because after an extremely awkward silence, she replied with the wrong lyrics. I was so thrown off. My "almost over" moment had turned into more of a never ending century.

I did my best to finish it off and PEACED OUT. Lol. Needless to say, I'm certain I won't be getting a call back any time soon, but hey at least I did it, or I wouldn't have this to write about right? And I mean it is one for the books, maybe even the Guinness Book of World Records, because this is definitely worthy.

Answer

2007-10-11T03:13:00.000-07:00

Since no one bothered to even attempt to answer my oh so clever question in the previous post, i'll just give you what you want without working for it. Because utimately, that's how life should be right?

So here it is, on a silver platter and everything.

Answer: Ask one robot what the other would say if it was asked which door was safe. Then go through the other door.

Don't even try to tell me this doesn't work, or come up with some clever suggestion like "why doesn't he just go back to where he came from originally?" Because I have overanalyzed this little puzzle to the maximum and believe you me, I have RULED OUT every other possibility. THIS DOES WORK. Do not second guess me.

THE DOUBLE JEOPARDY DOORS

2007-10-06T05:28:00.001-07:00

You are trapped in a room with two doors. One leads to certain death and the other leads to freedom. You don't know which is which.

There are two robots guarding the doors. They will let you choose one door but upon doing so you must go through it.

You can, however, ask one robot one question. The problem is one robot always tells the truth ,the other always lies and you don't know which is which.

What is the question you ask?

uhoh

2007-10-05T01:53:00.000-07:00

i think someone lougied in my tim hortons coffee.....

thats basically all i have to say about that. i think ill go throw up now

Goodbye Andy

2007-10-02T14:56:00.000-07:00

So I have become rather fond of this particular spot in Victoria to take pictures. It's just a regular old shabby parking lot, but with a twist. There is the most incredible graffiti and artwork on the walls on the surrounding buildings it takes my breath away.

The other day I decided to go take some more pictures in the morning as the sun would not be as sharp, and to my suprise my beloved Andy Warhol painting had been tagged over. Now I understand this doesn't break any "tagging" rules, but my heart still breaks a little. What exsists in its place is by no means subordinate, but I will miss my old friend.

So in tribute to him, and whoever his inspiring artist may be, here are my best pictures of this incredible icon.

SCHOOL 1977 vs. SCHOOL 2007

2007-09-27T02:17:00.000-07:00

Scenario: Jack goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school parking lot with shotgun in gun rack.
1977 - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car and gets his own shotgun to show Jack.
2007 - School goes into lock-down, the RCMP are called, Jack is hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors are called in to assist traumatized students and teachers.

Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.
1977 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.
2007 - Police are called, SWAT team arrives and arrests Johnny and Mark. They are charged with assault and both are expelled even though Johnny started it.

Scenario: Jeffrey won't sit still in class, disrupts other students.
1977 - Jeffrey is sent to the Principal's office and given a good paddling. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.
2007 - Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADD. School gets extra provincial funding because Jeffrey has a disability.

Scenario: Bill breaks a window in his neighbour's car and his dad gives him a whipping with his belt.
1977 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.
2007 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is removed to foster care and joins a gang. State pschycologist tells Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has an affair with the psychologist.

Scenario: Mark gets a headache and takes some Aspirin to school.
1977 - Mark shares Aspirin with the school principal out on the smoking dock.
2007 - Police are called and Mark is expelled from school for drug violations. His car is searched for drugs and weapons.

Scenario: Pedro fails high school English.
1977 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes on to College.
2007 - Pedro's cause is taken up by local human rights group. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that making English a requirement for graduation is racist. Canadian Civil Liberties Association files class action lawsuit against provincial school system and Pedro's English teacher. English is banned from core curriculum. Pedro is given his diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.

Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover Canada Day firecrackers, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle and blows up an anthill.
1977 - Ants die.
2007 - Canadian Firearms Center and the RCMP are called and Johnny is charged with domestic terrorism. CSIS investigates parents, siblings are removed from the home, computers are confiscated, and Johnny's dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.

Scenario: Johnny falls during recess and scrapes his knee. His teacher, Mary, finds him crying and gives him a hug to comfort him.
1977 - Johnny soon feels better and goes back to playing.
2007 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces three years in federal prison. Johnny undergoes five years of intensive therapy.

- content compliments of anonymous sender

DRIVERS BEWARE!

2007-09-13T04:58:00.000-07:00

Watch out all you environmentally friendly vehicledrivers. The proposed “green license plates” to appear on your energy efficient methods of transportation by Spring 2008 may provide you with more grief (and humiliation) than good. The green plates which promise benefits such as free parking and use of carpool lanes may not have the same affect when you cross the US Border. As it was release previously in the media about a month ago (Ok so I am a little behind the times) the United States Government has proposed a little “green scheme” of its own. But it is no means an environmental pat on the back for the average granola cruncher, but rather a way for U.S. Residents to single out their convicted sex offenders.

What an incredible idea. The easiest color on the eye, globally known to signify “GO” plastered on the vehicle of your friendly neighbourhood pedophile. The color of nature, symbolizing growth, harmony and freshness. The color known to have incredible healing power, often used in hospitals and waiting rooms formally know as “green rooms” because of its ability to put people at ease.

I can just see the reaction now. “Awww, look honey, a pedophile.” I mean common. If you really wanted to get someone’s attention for something of this nature, wouldn’t you want to use, oh I don’t know…RED??? Don’t you want to say something like “STOP I AM A SEX OFFENDER DO NOT PASS GO DO NOT COLLECT 200?” Wouldn’t you prefer to catch someone’s attention and “Alert” them, rather then everyone just sort of passively noticing and all of a sudden feeling strangely overcome with relaxation and serenity? I think this is kind of an oxymoron in a sense.

Not to mention the fact that now Canada will be forced to rethink their actually fairly good idea of encouraging people to go green.

I have an idea. Make the sex offenders just paint their entire cars pink. And write “sex offender” across the hood. That should do it, and won’t cause any confusion. Or better yet, just make them take the bus where they will be surrounded with a bunch of little children as they no longer wish to risk driving altogether. Less people on the road, and more cases of offences by sexual predators.

(please notice the minor hint of sarcasm, as I risk being seriously misunderstood if last statement was thought to be of true intention.)

Lulu - New addition to the family!

2007-08-30T04:56:00.000-07:00

So some of you may already know, but since i am madly in love i am going to announce yet again. I am the proud new mom of a 1.5 year old chihuahua named Lulu. She weighs 6 lbs and is full grown. It was absolutely love at first sight! I got her from the pound in Nanaimo (she was taken there along with her brother), and she is definately quite the little princess. She is still a little aprehensive of men and takes quite a while to warm up to them. (We are still working on having her and steve in the same room without her running away.) But she is definatley mommys little girl because her tail is going a million miles an hour every time she sees me. She doesn't miss a single opportunity to sit on my lap! Our biggest concern when bringing her home was how Penny would react. Penny's ability to get along with her was definatley the deciding factor if she was going to be a permanent member of our family. And it is a success!! Penny has hardly barked at all since Lulu arrived and is extremely gentle and calm when in her presence. For those of you who have encountered Penny, you would know that this is definatley not normal behavior for her at all. Lulu is house trained and the vet claims her to be a very healthy young lady! Only downside is she is in heat at the moment, so is quite moody at times. We are excited to see what kind of dog she will be once she is through this phase.

I am hoping that once she is better habituated at home and used to meeting new people I will be able to take her to work for company on the graveyard shift!! If you are ever in the area please stop by and say hello to Lulu!!

For more picture of Lulu please visit:

Lulu -> http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=47101&l=c3d93&amp;id=729915124

Or sign up for facebook and add me to see more favorite photos!

Random Acts of Lunatic-ness Pt. II

2007-08-09T10:30:00.000-07:00

Dear mindless, bored, over observant lunatic

If I am going 40 kms/hr and that is the posted speed limit, do not motion for me to “slow down” with your hands and shake your head as I pass. I kind of like going the speed limit, (I mean if that is ok with you of course.) I think I am entitled to go the suggested speed if I so desire after a 9 hour graveyard shift at an addiction recovery center. You’re lucky I am not cruzin out of there as fast as I can, so you are welcome for that. Just because my car can go from 0 - 60 in one millisecond (ok maybe I am exaggerating) it doesn’t mean I need to use it, I only do so when in the appropriate situation. See “Long Weekend Lunatics” for clarification on when this type of driving is acceptable.

Just wanted to say thank you for doing such a fabulous job of controlling ALL the traffic that drives down your DEAD END road at 9 in the morning. I can imagine the chaoticness and excessive amount of cars passing your street containing a virtually endless forest, a farm, three houses, and a treatment center. Your efforts do not go unnoticed. (But they are however, completely disregarded.) Oh and by the way, your house is right next to a stop sign, we are virtually stopped when you tell us to slow down, are you confused? Keep up the good work.

Dear dangerous, disrespectful, uncaring, under observant lunatic

Thanks for driving 80 kms/hr around a corner in your AMAZING monster truck IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD. I apologize because it seems as though I forgot to read the part of the road rules that states you don’t HAVE TO FOLLOW THE RULES. Its no problem at all that you drove me off the road, I had to learn the lesson somehow right? I mean, they are just yellow lines on a road right? No point in staying on your side for the sake of saving half a millisecond of time and someone’s life. I mean if absolutely necessary you could always just drive right over the top of the oncoming traffic and come out unscathed, no biggie. Thanks for giving me a new appreciation for my own life as it FLASHED BEFORE MY EYES this morning.

Dear universe,

I GET IT! I have to be more aware of my surroundings. Thanks for the MULTIPLE reminders. I notice, I see it, so you can stop with the signs now. Turn everyone back into normal drivers, point WELL taken.

Random Acts of Lunatic-ness

2007-08-09T10:25:00.000-07:00

Letter to a Long Weekend Lunatic #1

Dear lunatic trying to play games me with on my drive HOME from Coombs, nice try.

If you are going 70 kms/hr on a 100 km/hr highway someone is going to pass you. You don’t need to take it personally and try to teach them a lesson or piss them off by passing them and slamming your breaks on and once again maintain a speed of 70 kms. They don’t appreciate having to pass you going 120 only to have you pass them ONCE AGAIN at speed of 140. That is not safe. You didn’t teach me anything except for the fact you are a complete idiot. Why can’t you just let me drive in peace. Don’t cry to much that I smoked you out at every intersection we were stopped at, its not your fault you don’t know how to drive….actually, yes it is. If you ever do that to me again I will throw eggs at your shiny gutless SUV. You will be sorry.

Love Lisa

Letter to a Long Weekend Lunatic #2

If you are getting to that age where Alzheimer’s may be a problem, please refrain from driving. It is not only embarrassing and dangerous for you, but also frustrating and time consuming for the rest of us when you try to fuel your Hyundai accent up with marked fuel 6 times in a row on the opposite side of the pump as we have to keep getting out of our cars to rip the nozzle out of your hands and re-explain to you what you just did 2 seconds before. If you get back in your car and sit there a few minutes and try again, it doesn’t make a difference. It only pisses us off more.

P.S. I don’t know if you remember, but you drove off without getting any gas at all and you left your gas tank and cap open. Have a fabulous day. I sort of hope you didn’t run out of gas because I can see that imposing a whole new challenge.

Take care, Lisa

Letter to multiple Long Weekend Lunatics

Why didn’t you tell me one is not supposed to signal on long weekends? I drove around all day in Qulaicum/Parksville and Coombs and not a single person signalled while turning or changing lanes. The only person who DID signal didn’t end up turning at all, and I in turn I ended up cutting them off. After honking at me and fingering me profusely he finally turned his blinker off a good 7 kms later. Nice one buddy. I think next time a friendly reminder would suffice that signals are not required on long weekends, because a girl can get confused with all the changes.

Sincerely, Lisa

Letter to the person missing 8 loafs of bread

You left your bread of random brands and assortments scattered throughout the malahat drive. They might still be there if the birds didn’t get them all.

Yours truley, Lisa

The Zen of Sarcasm

2007-07-23T11:49:00.000-07:00

Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.

Its always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbour’s newspaper, that's the time to do it.

Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.

Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is probably not for you.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably a wise investment.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.

Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

A closed mouth gathers no foot.

Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

- compliments of miss Alisa

Breathe Tattoo

2007-07-18T01:05:00.001-07:00

So I got my tattoo done at Tattoo Zoo in Victoria over 3 weeks ago and it is now finally healed. It was done by the artist Gerry and he does amazing work. Check out his website to see pics from his portfolio.

http://www.gerrykramer.com/ - personal portofilo

http://www.tattoozoo.net/ - shop information

The shop was very tidy and I was pleased with the atmosphere. I showed Gerry the templates I had drawn out for my idea but mentioned they weren't quite exactly what I was looking for. He said he had an idea and drew up EXACTLY what I was trying to create in about 30 seconds. Definatley put any of my artistic abilities to shame. After showing me the example he asked if I wanted to get it done right then and there. (And here I thought I was just going to do research.) I decided to take the chance and agreed to get my first tattoo GASP!

I was so nervous, but I think that helped in the end. After we got started Gerry told me he didn't mention the pain factor before we got started because he knew the wrist was a sensitive area and didn't want to scare me off, but suprisingly it didn't hurt me at all. (probably the adrenaline kicking in but I wasn't complaining.)

After a quick 20 minutes we were already finished. And here is the final result

I would definatley reccomend Gerry and his shop to anyone looking to get a tattoo. After looking around Victoria pricing things out, it did end up being on the pricer side of the scale, but well worth it. This is my first tattooand it was a really good experience. Hope you all like it.

Public UriNATION pt. II - Wishfun thinking...or not thinking at all?

2007-07-18T00:43:00.000-07:00

So I was reading the Times Colonist this a.m. 0330 to be exact, and there on the front page in all its glory is the graciously appointed article “Victoria goes for pop-up potties”. My dyslexia kicked in at first glance and thought it read “Victoria goes pop-up for potties.” But to be completely honest, I truly believe this to be a far more appropriate title.
I have previously expressed my….concern… for such an object to be permanently installed in our downtown core, but let me kindly re-address this issue.
A quick overview, courtesy of the Victoria Times Colonist. Please, sue me now for copyright since your writing skills are so immaculate I couldn’t have come up with a better way to describe it myself.

“Pop up urinals will soon be a permanent feature in Downtown Victoria (yippee.) The sleek European-built cylinders that rise hydraulically from the sidewalk at night but are lowered during the day will be in place by early next year, Victoria council decided yesterday.

In the meantime two portable loos that were part of a pilot project to reduce public urinating will be available. (urinal tipping anyone?) The project was deemed a success - the Bastion Square portable averaged 112 litres of urine in a weekend that might otherwise have ended up on the street (who conducts urine counts, gross. How’d you do that anyways, with a bucket in hand? I wonder if they took into account how much urine ended up on the OUTSIDE of the urinals.)

The city sees the pop-ups as a way to give back-alley urinations an option other than the wall of a business. (Does it really??, you might want to clarify your definition of “the city”.)
Because the vast majority of the culprits are men between the ages of 20 and 30 who don’t like to stray far off their path, the pop-ups provide only urinals. (First of all, I am appalled. So you are going to start discriminating now? Are women just more patient then men and able to wait for a washroom before they go tinkle? Just because we are decent and well trained enough to think twice before pissing on the street means we should be punished? And what difference does it make what age the men who are stinking up the streets are anyways. Does it differentiate in volume?)

But providing an alternative for renegade urinators who were smelling up the City of Gardens (you mean fertilizing of course) isn’t cheap. The two permanent urinals will cost more than 300,000 and run, so the city will try to recoup some of that money from bar owners. (But don’t let that little statistic fool you for a second, because taxpayers will be dishing out the brunt of the cost straight outta their pockets, including another “$202,000 to improve and supervise the Centennial Square washrooms because they’re the ones liquoring everyone up” ….What that doesn’t make sense. The taxpayers are the ones liquoring everyone up? I guess I did mention earlier that the Times colonist has immaculate writing abilities.)

Liam Lux, the general manager of Lucky Bar has suggested stricter enforcement in the downtown core (yeah I’ll second that notion. Oh wait I already suggested that over a month ago.) Lux also suggest changing bylaws to allow bars an hour to get patrons out after last call at 2 am rather than the half hour currently allowed. That extra half hour would mean patrons aren‘t being hurried out the door, and could be encouraged to use the facilities. (So do you really think people are going to sober up in an hour and say to themselves “wow, I should really be a responsible adult and go urinate in the bathroom before I decided to get in my car and drive home.” Yeah, I think not. If grown adults cannot rationalize that they are to drunk to drive, then I am pretty sure they are not fit to decide to use the washroom before departing either.) (I also don’t ever remember being rushed out the door after the 2am last call either, I have plenty of time to try to rid my body of impurities before I am asked to leave the premises.)”

Ok, so by now you can probably tell what parts I decided to add into this article. (for clarification purposes and to cover my ass, I have clearly situated all of these comments safely in between brackets.) Now I just have a couple of missed points to add.

First of all, these urinals are only designed to come out at night. You would think after spending over half a million dollars to design these sleek state of the art spacecrafts that shoot up out of the ground, that they would be available to the public around the clock. I see far more use for them during the day for tourists and locals alike who don’t want to spend their hard earned dollars in some over priced Victorian coffee shop just to be able to use their “facilities”.

From the pictures I have seen, they definitely appear to be form over function. Of course they have to look pretty to attract their male users in the wee hours of the morning. (of course, no pun intended. I am not the humours type.)

These formally known “Uri-Lifts” are also completely open backed. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to a new age of indecent exposure. Just a quick warning that if you happen to visit Bastion Square between the hours of 12am-4am you are going to see a lot of exposed packages.
All in all, I believe these creations to be a complete joke. But I will admit they will provide some entertainment at the very least. I mean what is cooler then a trendy pop up urinal ready to rise upon my command?

On that note, once again just a friendly reminder that these TWO beautifully appointed peeing capsules are costing us over half a million dollars.
Time and money definitely well spent FOR SURE.

Serenity Prayer

2007-06-22T12:58:00.000-07:00

God grant me the serenityto accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
enjoying one moment at a time;
accepting hardships as the pathway to peace.

public uriNATION

2007-06-21T20:06:00.000-07:00

NOTE: Title of this post to be read public uriNATION as my formatting makes the titles all CAPS it takes away from my tremendously witty sense of humour and I must keep that intact at all times. Thank you.

As I was walking downtown with my mom a while back, checking out the heart of Victoria and Chinatown we came across this....eccentric...apartment building. It was so interesting I had to take a picture. At first I thought it was rather comical the sign reading "Please stop peeing here people live here." But then I later realized such a note was rather ironic, and I believe the irony is what makes this image so beautiful. People merely trying to protect what is rightfully theirs with another form of not as smelly vandalization, graffitti. Is writing on the wall of your home with permanent marker really the solution to this situation? To be honest, if I were to ever see this wall while intoxicated, which most of my friends would vouch for rarely ever happens these days, I would most definatley see this message not as a warning, but as an outrageously vibrant neon green light for public urination. And if I was as intoxicated as most of these people are who are even considering peeing on another humans not-so-welcome mat I probably wouldn't even be able to read the message, let alone see it in the first place.

It Is unfourtunate that Victoria has taken the Sex Appeal approach with their new tourism recruiting ad campagin of advertising the city of Victoria as "the perfect orgasm." (this is totally another story we will have to address some other time.) Maybe if we advertised things like this ideal apartment location (not to mention whos rental suites are upwards of 700/ month) along with the amount of people we have living on the street in any given summer it would open doors to a whole new realm of tourism. aka, the forigners have vanished. I admit that the city of Victoria has become intolerably out of hand (although you would never be able to guess with the beautifully kept hanging flower baskets), I believe there are more practical ways of solving problems like human excretion in unappropriate places as in this particular example, on the door step of someones no longer humble abode. The City of Victoria HAS purposed earlier in the year a solution to public urination, consisting of space age porta-potties popping up from the ground in the middle of Centennial Square. Do we really want to spend thousands and thousands of tax payers dollars on such a total waste of time? Am I the only person who forsees the total demise of such an invention? Silver metal tubes arising from the ground to inebriated human beings is just something else to vandalize, and in this case. to piss on, not in. But maybe since they have taken our bowling alley away, it will be something for us to enjoy. I can't wait for my night out of "raise the mysterious tubular time machine."

I think a far more practical and appropriate solution is to of course not only raise the amount of police people in the downtown core, which is something most Victorian's would tell you is a long drawn out debate, but also to rid Victoria of useless COPS who rather then doing their job of enforcing the law, spend their time harassing and abusing the homeless, handing out warnings to innocent people with their fog lamps on, or pulling over 16 year old boys without a license just to tell them how they used to "smoke blunts and drink at their age". No wonder our city smells like piss.

Just remember next time you are walking downtown and you smell a rather irritating odour, think twice when the "gardner" tending to the flowers tells you its just "potent soil". You could very well be stumbling across something of a more........human nature.

Intermittent Life Update

2007-06-13T14:30:00.000-07:00

So a lot has happened (yeah i know everyone ALWAYS uses that as an excuse for not writing) but seriously though, it has. Not that it has caused me to have a lack of time to do important things like write on my almost now non exsistance space in the gargantuan blogosphere, my mind has just been focusing on other parts of my life and when it comes time to write about my expereinces i am kind of run dry. But in a good way. Here is a quick review of where I am at these days.

I have moved back in with my parents, but I know this time around it is different. After living in Victoria for a year and paying over 500 dollars a month in rent and bills, coming home was a blessing. Who would have known that a fridge can be stocked all month long, not just proceeding the bi-weekly pay cheque.

I have a new job and no longer have to drive over an hour to get to work every day of the week, which is also a major bonus. What is even better, is my position is in the field I have been wanting to enter for a while. I am support staff at the addictions recovery center here and is a mere 8 minute drive to work. It pays really well and I work 4 shifts @ 9 hours each a week which leaves me to have 3 days off but still get full time hours. The only downside to all of this is that I work the graveyard shift (23:45-08:45). I have started to adjust and am starting to learn I can still function rather well (apart from my motor skills) with hardly any sleep. This lack of sleep is also another big factor as to why I hadn't written in so long. I sound kind of lame when I try to talk after I have been up for 27 some odd hours.

I just bought a new laptop and bike. They are both gorgeous and work well which is always a bonus. hahahaha. function over form but its nice if they are cute to right?

Laptop ---> Customized Dell Inspirion 6400 pretty much maxed out at all the newest technology , I don't wanna sound like a total nerd and get into all the specs, but its pretty damn swanky. Some of my friends who are die hard mac fans will probably try to ban me from their life which is fine, but understand I saved myself over two thousand dollars (of money which i do not have to begin with) and if i were to pick up a mac for the same price that I payed for such a high performance laptop, I would get the Fisher Price version aka the MacBook. So, not worth it.

Bike ---> 2007 GT Agressor. Have only ridden it a bit so far, but its a smooooooooth ride. And it is also you guessed it. Pretty damn swanky.

POSTSECRET

2007-05-29T00:19:00.001-07:00

Dedicated to the cause

2007-05-29T00:06:00.001-07:00

So the other day, as advertised on facebook, was don't pump gas day. Recently I had been cutting back on driving alone and opted to take the city bus virtually everywhere I went. But earlier this month I have moved back up island into my parents house in Shawnigan Lake. I figured that taking public transportation just wasn't doing the trick so I had to take my dedication to saving the planet to a whole new level. (oh who am i kidding, this whole thing is about saving me money, ill be the first to admit im a little selfish but for the record i am an extremely avid recycler.)

Now we all know that I am definately into in standing up for what you believe in, so I was insistant to not fill up my car with fuel on this day. I made a last minute decision to drive to Victoria to run some errands and pick up my pops on the way home from work....when the gas light came on. Well somewhere in the whole facebook community they failed to mention that if you do in fact still need to DRIVE, to think about fueling up in advance. I ignorantly disregarded the litle orange warning glaring at me from the dashboard and contiuned on up the malahat ( a mountain pass i must venture through in order to get home.) I managed to make it to the top of the mountain and the beautiful summit lookout when......cough cough cough..lisa runs out of gas. What was I to do? there was NO WAY IN HELL you would catch me getting gas today! But, problem solved. I got my mom to go to the gas station to fill up a jerry can of gas and bring it to me. HA! I didn't touch a single drop. Now hows that for beating the system.

I'd just like to say how proud and not embarassed I am to run out of gas on this particular day. Don't pump gas day in the world of Lisa Marie Nixon was a complete success. Thank you to all those involved to help me get home safe and sound. ( I managed to get a free dinner out of it to! maybe I should run out of gas more often.)

AMAAAAZING ANAGRAMS

2007-05-25T19:42:00.000-07:00

brilliance.

STONE AGE becomes STAGE ONE

ELECTION RESULTS becomes LIES! LET'S RECOUNT!

AUSTRALIA becomes A TRIAL USA

MCDONALDS RESTAURANTS becomes UNCLE SAM'S STANDARD ROT

SEVEN-ELEVEN INCORPORATED becomes OPEN IT AND NEVER EVER CLOSE

THE ROADRUNNER AND WILE E. COYOTE becomes TRY A CARTOON DUEL WHERE NONE DIE

THE LEANING TOWER OF PISA becomes I SPOT ONE GIANT FLAW HERE

GASTROENTEROLOGIST becomes I LET GO TORRENTS O GAS

THE THREE STOOGES LARRY, CURLY, AND MOE becomes ACTORS? LORD, THEY'RE AN UGLY THREESOME!

JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE becomes I'M A JERK, BUT LISTEN

WASHINGTON becomes HOGS WANT IN

and last but not least....

TRUTH IS becomes IT HURTS

enjoy!

brought to you by the lovely people at the bathroom readers institute.

the epic quiz i.e. i have been to busy to write anything worthwhile and meaningful so this is what you get post

2007-05-10T00:06:00.000-07:00

1. What time did you get up this morning? 7AM
2. Diamonds or pearls? pearls. unless they are uncompromised non blood diamonds. then i might reconsider.
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? In the Land of Women. Kinda crappy, but filmed in Victoria
4. What is your favorite TV show? I don't watch TV unless I am reminded. But if id have to choose it would be The hills followed by the news. Although the news has been significantly boring lately, but I guess that is a good thing?
5. What did you have for breakfast ? carrots and raisin bran. No, not at the same time.
6. What is your middle name? Marie
7. What is your favorite cuisine? Thai or Greek
8. What foods do you dislike? EGGS.
9. Favorite Chips? Poker chips.
10. What is your favorite CD at the moment? Heated question. but if we are going minute by minute, then I'd have to say Modest Mouse - We were dead before the ship even sank
11. What kind of car do you drive? 97 Dodge Neon R/T
12. What is your favorite sandwich? rosemary ham with Dijon mustard and banana peppers
13. What characteristic do you despise? in myself = lack of self confidence, in others = liars
14. What are your favorite clothes? pink headscarf that is definitely on its last life. (it counts as clothing. i make the rules)
15. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation? Somalia. Because if I could travel there, it would mean that their civil war was no longer.
16. Favorite brand of clothing? Anything that fits and is on sale. I don't have a consistent brand except for shoes. that would have to be DC shoes.
17. Where would you like to retire?on my own personal yacht.
18. Favorite time of day? when im not tired
19. Where were you born? Nelson, BC
20. What is your favorite sport to watch? Soccer
21. Who is your hero in life? to many to mention
22. Apples or Oranges? apples
23. Pepsi or Coke? pepsi not because of the taste because the two are far to similar, but as a company pepsi cuz it has less lawsuits.
24. Beavers or Ducks? they both scare me.
25. Are you a morning person or a night owl? i tend to enjoy mid afternoon but as I am working graveyards I better start becoming more of a night owl.
26. Pedicure or manicure? pedicure
27. Any exciting news you'd like to share with everyone? Got a new job at an addictions recovery center as support staff.
28. What did you want to be when you were little? are you ready for this? an Anaesthesiologist not a word of a lie. remember, lieing is one of the character traits i despise?
29. What is your best childhood memory? skipping. which also includes many of my worst.
30. Piercing? 8 all together
31. If there was one thing that you could change right now what would it be? my confidence in myself and i would also make myself into a genious.
32. Your biggest regret right now? not keeping in touch with people
33. Favorite restaurant? you know what is funny..i cant even remember the name of it. oh west arm grill. either that or anywhere that serves my dads bbq cooking. oh wait thats only at my house.
34. Favorite flower? orchids and lillies
35. Favorite ice cream? chocolate cerry garcia or cotton candy
36. Favorite fast food restaurant? a & w
37. From whom did you get your last e-mail? Alisa Luksic. one of my heros included in my previously mentioned heros list.
38. What was the last movie that you rented? People rent movies? why?
39. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? M.A.C.
40. Bedtime? when my dog is ready to go to bed.
41. Last person you went to dinner with? All my favorite IMAX people.
42. What are you listening to right now? hum of my computer..its putting me to sleep.
43. Favorite colour? pink
How many tattoos do you have? but I have two ideas for ones I want.
45. Chicken or egg? chicken cuz I like chicken and hate eggs.
46. left or right? writing: right. hockey: left
47. Obama or Hillary? what the hell?
8. Front or rear-wheel drive? front
49. Muscle or brains? brains
50. Blonde or brunette? brunette
51. Bottle or draught? bottle
52. Domestic or imported? domestic
53. Salad: before or after? before
52. apéro or digestif? umm what?
53. Mansbridge or Robertson? am i supposed to know these answers...
54. Anderson Cooper or Larry King? im getting tired of this.
55. belt or suspenders? suspenders are HOOOOOOOT.
56. XBox or Playstation? whatever one of those ones has the karaoke game. that is the shit.
57. Books or movies? they both have a special place in my heart.
58. neat or on the rocks? neat? if this is a drinking question i hope i answered it right to sound cool.
59. sandals or sneakers? flip flops
60. nature or nurture? nurture
61. matte or glossy? glossy.
62. standard or automatic? standard.
63. regular or hi-test? im guna choose hi-test cuz it sounds extreme?
64. backroad or highway? roads that say "honk to warn oncoming traffic" and "road narrows, yield to oncoming traffic"
.65. fast or slow? over the speed limit enough to be fast, but slow enough to be a waste of time to a cop.
66. mer ou montagne? my stomach hurts.
67. Paris or London? both are full of people i dont think id get a long with.
68. fountain or ballpoint? keyboard
69. MacLaren or Williams? blank answer.
70. arugula or pesto? pesto
71. thin or thick crust? thiiiick
72. aisle or window? window so I can look busy and engaged if I am seated next to someone awkward. Ususally thats not a problem cuz there is hardly ever anyone more awkward then me.
73. fame or fortune? fame leading to fortune. fortune leading to fame usually implies it was not earned.
74. pocket aces or suited connectors? eyes slowing drooping....
75. fight or flight? flight
76. beginning or end? if you mean regarding this quiz definatley the beginning. I hope this is over soon.
77. beer or wine? neither
8. live or memorex? Live.
79. One inanimate thing you'd rescue from your burning residence - computer
80. One thing you'd refuse to sell, no matter what the price - my brother...well how much you asking? j/k
81. One thing you wish you'd never had - this cough, car troubles and extra weight on my body
82. One thing you've always wanted - less fat on my body
83. A fiver on the floor in front of the counter: pocket or tip jar? tip jar if its my tip jar. oh wait, instead why don't i just give it to the last customer that visited my counter instead? to some ungrateful bastard who in the end will not be its rightful owner after all? hmm...nono..that never happened to me did it.... add that to the list of things i wish i had never DONE.
84. Name one thing you could do for someone without regard to cost or consequence -Bring back a loved one.
85. If you could start all over right now, would you? if by that you mean this survey? thats a definate HELL NO.

WHEELS KEEP ON TURNIN

2007-04-21T09:46:00.000-07:00

So I know It's been a decade since i wrote last...ok maybe just shy of a month, but im sure to you it feels like FOREVER. right? ok just pretend. But seriously though I have been so busy. I have one full time job (that i have been at for over a year) and one part time job both at the museum. It's going really well but on top of that I am also going to school part time for Medical Terminology. (thank god it is online, id never make it to class.) You can usually find me writing my exams and studying for this course in the wee hours of the morning. I bet a lot of you can't say you have ever done an exam at 2am. ANYWAYS. And to make matters even MORE complicated, I am moving in less then ten days and have yet to start packing YIKES and for the past week I was sick with a fever maintaing a healthy level of over 102.5 degrees. Such a fever can lead one to do this slightly irregular, like claim people are cutting the insides of your arms or crawling around on the floor and yelling like a lunatic. Either way, those days are over and with a few more tests and doctors appointments I'll be well on the road to recovery. I don't even really know when my next day off of work is, but lets not be a buzzkill and think about my lack of time off some other time.

So the other day I went up to the Sooke Potholes with my roomate michelle. It was a brilliant time. We walked all the way up to Hideaway beach on the galloping goose and followed the road next to the river back and stoped at every single beach. We decided to skip "skipping rock" beach because we thought that would be apropriate. On our travels we did come across a rather perplexing piece of sinage. Feast your eyes.

Now there are two groups of people who this sign may confuse. Those groups consist of dumb blondes (ok no offence to the hair color) or complete Geniuses who take everything rather literally. (being the catagory I fall under....is that even how you spell genius?) Some of you may be wondering, like myself at the time, how it was humanly possible to be driving your car WITHOUT its tires touching the pavement. Such a thing would imply that this road does in fact not allow any traffic at all. But if one were to ponder on it just a little longer, they may come to the conclusion that this sign actually translates into "if you park on the side of the road and you are not pulled all the way over, we will tow you, so get the hell out of the way."

Rather then following the directions of these oh so clear instructions, we decided to be ignorant. I give you specimen # 2.

That's right park rangers. I in fact have TWO tires touching the pavement. Now don't get your panties tied up in a knot. We only parked to take this picture and we left PLENTY of space for the zero amounts of traffic that passed for the duration of this shot. One request though. Please make your signs more clear. You are confusing the geniuses and the blondes, and I don't know what one would be more dangerous in this situation.

MODEST MOUSE

2007-03-29T10:59:00.000-07:00

The new Modest Mouse cd "We were dead before the ship even sank" is brilliant. You should already have it, but if you dont, get it already.

Thanks

2007-03-14T08:54:00.000-07:00

So the other day i was driving downtown with my brother, and as i proceed to go through a GREEN LIGHT which is globally known as the GO color, a girl pedestrian decides to start walking across the street. so of course, i put on the breaks and then once again continue to drive through expecting her to realize that shes got to patiently wait on the side of the road. But NO. Rather then being patient and kind, she decides the only appropriate thing to do in this situation is SPIT ON MY WINDOW!! And I don't mean a tiny little girly spit. I mean this girl lougied allllll over my window. I drove around for a bit to try to find her and give her a talking to about respect, but I figured it was for the best cuz who knows shes probably got a freaking machete stuffed in her you know what.

Which brings me to my next story. I got a flat tire last night and had to change it by myself. (from driving onto the curb..and I don't mean just one wheel I mean my whoooole car...so much for trying to avoid accidents) I know this is an easy task but I've always had a brother or a dad to do it for me. But nope, I did it all by my lonesome and I am proud. But I couldn't believe the number of people who drove past and WALKED past me without so much as a "hey, need any help?" One guy actually walked by my in disgust, like he couldn't believe what I was doing. I bet if I was a supermodel those guys would have been there in a second and I wouldn't have had to lay a finger on that car. Well guess what. I don't need your fucking help. I don't want your help. It's to bad for you because if you hadda helped me you might have gotten some kind of recognition or some free IMAX passes (and we all know those are like gold. at 10.50 a pop who wouldn't want one) or at least some good freaking karma but nope, you get nothing.

Thanks for making me realize once again how truly pathetic people can be. Thanks for also reminding me how totally awesome I am. I will never be like any of you. You're welcome.

P.S. Don't you EVER spit on my car again. Next time you will not get away with it. I promise.

MTV SUES YOUTUBE

2007-03-14T08:45:00.000-07:00

It was announced Tuesday that MTV has sued YouTube for one billion dollars.

Now I'm not going to get into the details because this one pretty much explains itself, but one question remains.

If I am not mistaken, MTV uses video clips from YouTube on their "MTV Live Hacked" Show on a daily basis. Would that not mean YouTube could in turn sue them for copyright infringement as well? Maybe not YouTube itself, but the users that publish their videos to this site?

Comon now people, lets worry about REAL problem like global warming, everyone else is already on the boat while you sit there whining like babies because YouTube is getting watched more then your piece of shit channel that "claims" to be music television but yet there is not a single music video in site. What the hell is up with that anyways? I should sue your asses for false advertising.

POST SECRET

2007-03-11T13:15:00.000-07:00

THE REALISTIC NOT SO SECRET GUIDE TO CONTROLLING YOUR DESTINY PART I

2007-03-05T16:02:00.000-08:00

Some of you reading this might still be bleary eyed from just watching and/or reading the very public and not so secret “secret” everyone and their dog has been raving about. Well snap out of it. Because you aren’t going to find any of that sugar coated, power of attraction and intention, you control the universe shit here. Yeah I said it, its crap. Shake it off. I am what some might call, a realist. Doesn’t mean that I don’t believe in karma or a higher power, but I do think we control our own destiny. People who work hard for what they want in life are at least minutely successful, and lazy sobs who sit around and wait for things to fall on their lap sometimes get lucky. Life is 100 percent what you make it and nothing more. If you haven’t yet read or watched the so called “secret” don’t bother, because I am going to give you an overview of what you (didn’t) missed, and have created a more realistic and much more effective approach to getting what you want out of life.

What the secret basically tries to convince you of is that if you think of something long and hard enough, you will eventually “attract” more of whatever it is you desire. And it goes on to explain on the flip side, that if you focus on what you dislike you will in turn, attract more of what it is you don’t want, because that is what the universe THINKS you wish to have. Through images of “wavelengths” being sent out to the universe from individuals mind and repetitive examples and concepts they explain this theory in GREAT detail. One of these examples is of a young boy who spends literally every waking moment of his little life wishing for a bicycle. He becomes so obsessed that he starts to act as though this bike already exists to him in real life. It goes on to show how his mighty power of attraction eventually gets some random old guy (most likely is poor grandfather) to show up at his doorstep with the bike. It’s too bad they forgot to mention that the spoiled little brat most likely asked for the bike after the temper tantrum he threw when he realized that wishing it into existence wasn’t going to work out like he planned.

In my opinion, they are half right. I do think that if you focus on something, more of the same will follow, but it is only because you NOTICE it above all else. If you choose to notice the bills coming to your mail box everyday, getting something other then a bill is going to have much less of an impact, and quickly slips into your subconscious. (Partially because it’s only just a flyer you are going to recycle within seconds anyways.) Its works just the same with how we react to people complaining compared to how we react to compliments and encouragement. At times it can seem like people bicker more often about things then they do anything else, but once again it’s merely because that is what we CHOOSE to notice. Unkind words and harsh unappreciative attitudes from strangers and acquaintances alike are far more noticeable to us, then kind and complimentary remarks, actually because they happen LESS frequently, making them having more of an impact when they do occur. Subconsciously though, it is the benevolent attitude that uplifts our minds and spirits. Our body language, expression, and attitude completely changes, which in the end creates our OWN “power of attraction”; which is where the term “do unto others as you would have them do unto you” comes from. (Some may argue that these were originally the words of Jesus Christ, either way it is still a valid expression.)

I have created a small list of what I THINK makes a person successful. You can disagree with it if you like, but you exist somewhere else and this is my blog.

Confidence – If you don’t believe in yourself, no one will. Even if you don’t know what you are doing it is proven that if you at least pretend to have faith in yourself the rest of the world will follow. This approach is probably how 80% of your bosses managed to weasel their way through their very own path of self righteousness to where they are today.

Goals – If you don’t have even a tiny idea of what you want, chances are you aren’t going to get it. Bill Gates wanted to make a lot of money, but millions of dollars didn’t appear out of thin air, grab the bag of stale cheetos from his hand, slap him in the face and say wake up asshole you’re rich. He had to actually WORK to get what he wanted. But he certainly didn’t do all by his lonesome, which brings me to my next point.

Support – You can’t do anything alone. No matter how independent and driven you are, you still need to have someone there on the sideline cheering you on. Parents fit pretty well into this role. I don’t know if you already know this or not, but when you are born they are actually required to sign a contract stating they will support you no matter what. So just rub that in their faces the next time you decide to fill your entire back with an intricate tattoo with a meaning only you know, dye your hair pink and hitchhike across Canada, you are listed as a beneficiary and they are in fact your benefactor. Because you control your own destiny, but need some help along the way they will agree because they want you to succeed. (HA. YEAH RIGHT.) J

Talent – getting what you want out of life does depend a tiny bit on what you have to offer. This can be acquired with a little bit of determination and persistence to a certain degree, but it is just as important to make your decisions wisely. If you want to be a rock star but you can’t carry a tune or read music you might want to reconsider, or at least take some lessons.

Ambition/Motivation – Everyone knows people won’t do something unless they actually WANT to. (Well not unless it involves a large sum of money, but then the direction of the motivation is just rerouted, not gone completely.) Surround yourself with things that inspire you in some way. Art, images of places you want to go/places you have been, poems, music, your ideals (ok..these are things that inspire me…but you get the idea.) , you will be surprised at the ideas you can develop from your influences, and the different directions that they can take.

Failures – No one would get where they are today without a few set backs along the way. Failures are often our most valuable learning experiences. Because we often expect success and an easy breezy way of life, it is the setbacks that catch our attention and make us change our ways (hopefully for the better, if not follow the classic trial and error method until success prevails).

My writing is getting kind of stingy and rough...well it sort of started out that way....... and this is just a tiny snippet of my way of thinking. Ok Mom I know you are saying “practice what you preach young lady” and maybe something along the lines of “THAT’S WHAT I HAVE BEEN TELLING YOU ALL ALONG” and I do follow these general ideas to a certain extent, I just haven’t found my direction yet. As unresponsive and pessimistic as I may seem, I still have a tiny spark of faith left. I hope everyone else does to. Oh and on a side note, don’t be brainwashed by the un secret secret. If you must, let it inspire you. But don’t leave your destiny up to the universe. No matter how hard you may try broadcasting tiny signals of your wishes to the universe genie, they won’t be granted. Only you are responsible for your own destiny.

POST SECRET

2007-03-04T10:38:00.000-08:00

LET LOVE IN

2007-03-02T20:56:00.000-08:00

You wait, wanting this world

To let you in

And you stand there

A frozen light

In dark and empty streets

You smile hiding behind

A God-given face

But I know you're so much more

Everything they ignore

Is all that I need to believe

You're the only one I ever believed in

The answer that could never be found

The moment you decided to let love in

Now I'm banging on the door of an angel

The end of fear is where we begin

The moment we decided to let love in

I wish

Wishing for you to find your way

And I'll hold on for all you need

That's all we need to say

I'll take my chances while

You take your time with

This game you play

But I can't control your soul

You need to let me know

You leaving or you gonna stay

You're the only one I ever believed in

The answer that could never be found

The moment you decided to let love in

Now I'm banging on the door of an angel

The end of fear is where we begin

The moment we decided to let love in

There's nothing we can do about

The things we have to do without

The only way to feel again

Is let love in

There's nothing we can do about

The things we have to live without

The only way to see again

Is let love in

You're the only one I ever believed in

The answer that could never be found

The moment you decided to let love in

Now I'm banging on the door of an angel

The end of fear is where we begin

The moment we decided to let love in

- goo goo dolls 2006

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

2007-02-23T00:35:00.000-08:00

Dear Blog,
I am deeply sorry that I COMPLETELY disregarded your 2nd birthday. Beginning of Janurary was kind of a hectic and unsettling time, so please do forgive me. Ladies and Gentlemen, Janurary 8th, 2007 marks the 2nd year in my radtastic blogs life. Way to go for those of you who have held on this long, and go me for actually keeping a "journal" for longer then 5 entries. That is the good thing about an electronic journal..Because if a year or two passes since your last post, you dont have to feel bad about all the catching up to do and try to make yourself feel better by creating some kind of fresh start by runing off to the store to buy yourself yet ANOTHER journal to jot ANOTHER 5 entries in before the cycle begins all over again. No no, those days are over. I think I have about 9 journals with only the first few pages used...Does anyone want to purchase a collection of partially used journals? Might be kind of interesting to try and carry on from where I left off. Hmm that is a good marketing scheme for sure. Forget that I even mentioned it. MY IDEA. (anyways) This way, I can just pick up from where i finished on the previous post like we never missed a beat (or not and just jump right into something completely different...oh wait, thats what i do EVERYTIME I write a post in here, better keep that pattern.) And think about it this way: I am also saving trees. 1000 points for me. *applause*. Ok really though, thanks for all your comments, they mean more to me then you will ever know. Adrienne, those are the kindest words anyone has ever said to me, I will honestly carry that with me forever. Thanks for makeing me smile a million smiles :)

Yours truly,

Lisa

NICE GIRLS FINISH LAST

2007-02-20T10:31:00.000-08:00

So the other day at work, I did a crazy thing. See, I found this 20 dollar bill on the ground...and rather then stashing it in my pocket like a normal human being, i looked around in a panic to try to find the last customer who just left the area. I saw this older humble looking couple heading up the ramp towards the theatre and ran up after them. "How did you pay for that?" I ask. The man hesitated and said.."umm..cash?" answering my question with a question more then an answer. I proceeded to drill him and said "What kind of bill did you use?" ".........a fifty?" He responded. "Did you have any other bills in your wallet?" "umm...yeah." (This is when i take the idiot in me to another level.) "Oh well I just found this twenty dollar bill on the floor and i thought it might be yours." "OH YUP thats mine." The man snatches it from my hand before i have time to react without so much as a THANK YOU and continues on his way. What just happened?? Was he not greatful that I even bothered to do that? Just to reassure myself that the money made its way back to its rightful owner, I went to check the till and the last transaction that was made. Turns out, he paid with VISA and there was no 50 dollar bill in sight. What a freaking liar. Does he no realize that 20$ to me is like a mini fourtune?? I still have no idea what compelled me to do this, but it is a prime example that you cannot trust people, and that even though you are thoughtful and compassionate, it doesn't mean the rest of mankind is. Whoever you are, thank you very much for reminding me how undeserving and disrespectful people can be. I am still waiting for you to Thank me.

Britney Spears shaves her head

2007-02-17T08:41:00.000-08:00

I know I know we don't care about the rich and famous and all the crazy shit they do with their time and money but this one cannot go unnoticed. Can you say mental breakdown? I hope she gave her hair to kids with cancer.

LIFE...OR SOMETHING LIKE IT

2007-02-15T12:27:00.000-08:00

So we all know I am a bit notorious for procrastinating and losing things. Today, we are going to talk about procrastination. I don't do it for the sake of self sabotage, or because I don't WANT to do something, but more out of fear of the unknown. But I realized there is no more time for that. No more time to wait for the right thing to happen to me, if you want something you have to make it happen. Now don't think that I am getting soft and mushy and positive on you or anything, I'm still going to be the same sarcastic, cynical girl you know and either love to hate or hate to love, because it is easy and I am good at it, but at the same time I might try DOING something while I’m at it. And of course if I had my choice, I would put this little mission on the backburner and keep it to myself to sit and collect dust for another year, but if I figure I put it out in the open, then not only do I have to hold myself to it, but I can't let all of you down either!! I know you are probably all getting tired of the same old woe is me rant so I'm doing you all a favour. I think the first step to this is to start with a list of things I am interested in doing and accomplishing. Now at this point in time a lot of these are just mere ideas, some more far fetched then others, but you gotta start with something right? Ok HERE WE GO!!

1. Go back to school (either to be a Medical Office Assistant or a Hospital Unit Clerk) - I have chosen this particular education, because I am very interested in the Medical Field and have aspirations to one day be an addictions counsellor or hold a position that assists troubled youth. Now because I am not sure this is exactly for me, I figure if I go to school for eight months to become an MOA or HUC I can get a position within an addictions center or facility so I can be exposed to this environment while working and making money.

2. Volunteer/Internship in Ghana, Africa - Now the only reason this one is not number one on my list is because of finances. My bank account is not in the best shape right now (to say the very least) so if I go to school first, and either try to take my practicum in Ghana, or head over there before my student loan payments have to kick in then I am set. I am in love with Africa and its people’s struggles and stories, and I think the only way I can truly be satisfied is if I experience the culture and beauty of it all first hand. Now I know someone reading this (cough..mom) is FREAKING out at this idea because we all know that some parts of Africa don't have a very good.....reputation...and I don't think she is all to comfortable with my obsession with Somalia, a place with no recognized central government authority, but not to fear. I am not going there. As much as I'd love to help those in danger, I don't think I would come out alive. So this is why I have opted for Ghana. It is considered to be one the safest and most welcoming countries in Africa, and it is the country of choice for most volunteers. Another exciting part of this chapter in my life is that my good friend April wants to travel to volunteer as well so hopefully she can join me on this journey.

3. Take an art class - I miss getting my hands dirty. I want to be covered in paint. (Well...only if I am wearing scrap clothes or it washes out.) But seriously tho. I miss being creative

4. Start skipping again - I think I have made it very clear throughout the years of this blog's existence that skipping was a huge part of my life. I miss it VERY much and will do whatever it takes to get back into it. It is one way I would like to fundraise for my trip to Ghana. For a long time I have always dreamed of organizing and hosting a benefit show with a skipping performance as the main act to fundraise for a good cause, but until now I had never known what the cause was going to be. So now that I have the motivation and the purpose, I really hope this is something that can happen. I just need the bodies...any skippers out there? There are quite a few teams here in Victoria now, so I'll have to try to track them down.

5. Biking to work more - Now that I have a stronger light and the proper reflective gear I can now venture out onto the Galloping Goose in the dark. The only thing holding me back from making the very short journey of 30 minutes to work via my bicycle is that once the trail is over it shoots you into one of the busiest and most confusing intersections in downtown Victoria. And just remember, this is all takes place for me during rush hour as well. Scares me to death.

6. Be a tourist in my own hometown - I still don't understand how the tickets can be only 9 dollars, but it covers free admission to some of Victoria's best tourist attractions Feb. 28th - March 4th. I think that one explains itself, I am a sucker for cheesy learning and this town is full to the brim with it.

7. Start selling my jewellery - I have SOOOO MANY supplies and beads that it’s almost taking over my bedroom. I have no idea why I don't just do it....It sort of has to do with the fact that I am a perfectionist when it comes to anything I create and nothing ever feels good enough. But I guess what is considered imperfect to me, is a treasure to someone else. Does anyone own or work in a shop or salon that would like to take some of my creations under their wing?

8. Pay off my credit card bill - This one would be higher on the list, but with my current budget (that sends me plummeting 200 dollars under every month) and my current position it is not possible. It also relies on and ties in with other things listed previous. So unless I win the lottery or some kind rich person decides to pay it off for me, it will remain as it is.

Now I have many more ideas and aspirations but I can't imagine anyone has read into it this far anyways. So I will post it in segments, along with my progress. Hopefully this works. See you all in a decade or two.

TIME

2007-02-15T11:41:00.000-08:00

Time, where did you go?
Why did you leave me here alone?
Wait, don’t go so fast
I’m missing the moments as they pass
Now I’ve looked in the mirror and the worlds getting clearer
So wait for me this time
I’m down I’m down on my knees
I’m begging for all your sympathy
But you (I’m just an illusion) you don’t seem to care (I wish that I could)
You humble people everywhere (I don’t mean to hurt you)
Now I’ve looked in the mirror and the worlds getting clearer
I’ll take what you give me. Please know that I’m learning
So wait for me this time
I should’ve know better
I shouldn’t have wasted those days
And afternoons and mornings
I threw them all away
Now this is my time
I’m going to make this moment mine.(I shouldn’t have wasted those days)
I’ll take what you give me. Please know that I’m learning
I’ve looked in the mirror
My world’s getting clearer
So wait for me this time

- Chantal kreviazuk

Happy Valentines Day and cupcakes and rainbows and butterflies and shunshine and all that fluffy shit.

2007-02-14T21:32:00.000-08:00

TOP TEN REASONS BEING SINGLE ON VALENTINES DAY IS THE BEST THING THAT WILL EVER HAPPEN TO YOU……ALMOST

9. No plans – No one to make em, no one to break em. If you wanna do something, what is there to stop you? You wouldn’t stand yourself up…or would you?

8. No need to dress up - My number once choice for Valentines Day attire is sweatpants. I don’t have anyone to impress. Just like how sweatpants are my choice for everyday attire. Comon they’re so sexy right?

7. No guilt - You can eat a whole box of candy yourself without feeling bad and having to explain why all the truffles from the pot of gold are missing.

6. Hassle free dining experience - Eating out for one is a no brainer. Just think no reservations, no waiting, no having to listen to never ending list of “Dinner specials for two”, no arguing over who will pick up the bill, no fuss. And the wait staff is going to be at your beck and call because for some reason they feel sorry that you are dining alone on valentines. They will never know you did so by choice.

5. No excuses - you get to stay home and watch chick flicks in your sweats eating chocolate and being lazy without having to come up with a reason for your actions because all your other friends are out with their significant others.

4. Can watch the movies YOU want to see - Without having to worry about your partner whining about it was your choice LAST TIME as they continue to support their argument of why Terminator/Love Actually is the most appropriate choice for the evening. Did I mention that you get to wear sweatpants and pig out on your own chocolate while you watch in the comfort of your own home?

3. No fake reactions – You Don’t have to spend hours practicing the “aww honey I love it…you shouldn’t have” reaction when your significant other shows up with a box of turtle chocolates (did I mention you were allergic to nuts?) and the last remaining bouquet of overpriced, wilted and demolished supermarket roses. Singles like myself do not need to worry. I can go out and buy myself whatever I want and I know I will love it!

2. No disappointment - With Valentine’s day comes a plethora of presents that are insincere and artificial. People feel forced to get something for their significant others because it is considered social tradition to do so instead of from the heart. People get disappointed on valentines because for most it is NOT just the thought that counts. (Especially women, cuz really they are the only ones that care this holiday even existed…if it was up to the guys feb.14th would be national sit on the couch and watch sports day)

AND THE #1 REASON BEING SINGLE ON V-DAY IS AWESOME:

1. You're not about to get dumped. Think about it.

At this point if you managed to make it through you may be wondering…well where is reason number 10? Why on earth would you start at top ten list with the number nine. Are you a complete idiot? Do you know how to count? Do you have any sense at all? And the answers to those common questions are as follows. It has yet to be created. Because I can. No. Yes. And, Sometimes. You see, I am leaving reason number ten up to you. All those single people up there who wish to contribute to my list, this is your opportunity. Leave me a comment, I’ll pick the one I like most and repost it with the complete list as soon as I see fit. So common, contribute already. Coupled folk need not apply. Your suggestions would probably be crappy. Unless you are Minn, your suggestions are always welcome here.

Valentine's Day is like herpes: just when you think its gone for good, it rears its ugly head once more.

2007-02-14T21:00:00.000-08:00

Brought to you by the clever folks at meish.org

enjoy.

POST SECRET

2007-02-11T23:39:00.000-08:00

magic

2007-02-11T22:24:00.000-08:00

WOW.

What an amazing concert that was. Raine Maida, you are an absolute genious. Has anyone heard his "yellow brick road"? I'ts not on his EP and it is imperative to my well being that I track this song down. It is fantastic.

Hiding in the shadows under the hood of her sweater, Chantal backed up Raine during his opening acts on her piano. Although her prescence on stage was unknown to others, I could tell the moment she touched those keys that it was the one and only Chantal Kreviazuk. They were both amazing. I must say that Chantal and Raine both are a thousand times better live then they are recorded. Which is a HUGE deal (because I love them both recorded as well.) Chantals voice just radiated throughout the entire 900 seat theatre. Although we were seated in what some refer to as the "nose bleed" section accidentally, it didn't even matter. Her music and voice would reach all the way to the ends of the earth if there was no sound barrier above us (aka..the roof.) Anyways to sum it up, it was a fantastic evening with top notch company (being my mommy, chantal and raine) and will be embedded in my memory forever.

Peace and Love,
Lisa

CHANTAL KREVIAZUK CONCERT TONIGHT!!

2007-02-08T23:05:00.000-08:00

I'm alone is this life, and these old jeans are too tight
and now I can't pick my feet off the floor
I try to laugh but i cry
my dignity is undignifided, guess I'm really on my own
love is like a little boy, no I'm not paranoid
but I'm on to you, yeah yeah
well I'm not seventeen and I don't want to be
so why am I hiding

Is it too late to call you on the phone
too late to tell you I'm alone
I want to wake up from another lonely night
too late to wonder where you are
too late to hold you in my arms
cause if you're looking for wonderful
I'm wonderful

I'm a very simple girl
and I don't fit into this world, the city lights leave me in a daze
and even though we've never met, you know what I'm trying to forget
somethings you can't change

Is it too late to call you on the phone
too late to tell you I'm alone
I want to wake up from another lonely night
too late to wonder where you are
too late to hold you in my arms
cause if you're looking for wonderful
I'm wonderful

I'm underneath

Is it too late to call you on the phone
too late to tell you I'm alone
I want to wake up from another lonely night
too late to wonder where you are
too late to hold you in my arms
cause if you're looking for wonderful

I'm wonderful

- chantal kreviazuk

SOOOOO EXCITED!!

CONTEST

2007-02-06T23:28:00.000-08:00

OK,

So if any of you can tell me who this lovely lady is and what character she is so brilliantly immitating you win a prize.

*disclaimer, contest only open to non family member residents. Minn you are family, sorry.

me on valentines day

2007-02-05T21:07:00.000-08:00

for the people

2007-02-04T20:41:00.000-08:00

Dear mean people of the planet,
I am so sorry you waste so much time and energy to be rude. It is with my DEEPEST sympathy that I write this letter. Unfortunately as you may or may not already know, you actually happen to be the brunt of every joke. So I guess this is a letter of thanks and praise just as much as it is a letter of sympathy. My heart goes out to you though. It must be terribly strenuous to be so utterly pessimistic and unruly all of the time. How on earth do you ever come up with so much pathetic material? Do you find that you often have to re-use some of your best, or is it all totally original? The dedication and persistence it takes to be you is truly mind boggling. Keep up the good work.

Yours truley,
the nicest person on the planet

Welcome to exsistance

2007-02-02T14:02:00.000-08:00

When did life become so complex and so simple all at once? Am I really here? Is this really happening? Am I really sitting at my computer struggling to find the words to even write something so meaningless, so pointless? Am I even awake? Why is it when I hear about people that I knew growing up I feel like we are from different worlds? WHO ARE YOU? Are you the same person? When did you all become so famous? Am I the same person? When did you start writing music? When did I stop? Is this really the planet I started out on with such hope and promise? When did it all fade away? Where is my ambition my creativity my inspriation my drive my passions my interests my talents?MY CONFIDENCE??? Why can't I finish anything I have started? Why can't I start anything? Where are my friends?

WHERE ARE MY WORDS?????????

hahaha

2007-02-01T15:10:00.001-08:00

whatever.

2007-01-30T22:44:00.000-08:00

MY NEW YEARS RESOLUTION IS 1280 X 1024

2007-01-26T19:46:00.000-08:00

Happy New years

so what im like 27 days late. better late then never

POSTSECRET

2007-01-26T19:42:00.000-08:00

postsecret

2007-01-14T11:39:00.000-08:00

Flying Home

2007-01-13T19:07:00.000-08:00

Its hard to let you go
You've always let me in
And helped with all the endings
And you know where to begin
I need you here for me
Cause you always know my heart
I cant believe we'd change
Or have to be apart

But if you've seen the love that's in his eyes
Then everything is good
And if you know the way he felt inside
He's flying where he should
I never believed we'd ever live to see
An angel being born and flying home

Its good to know your laugh
And you'll always hold my hand
And watch from up in heaven
And always understand
We'll take you down the road
And in everything we do
We'll know how much you love us
A soul that's kind and true.

But if you've seen the love that's in his eyes
Then everything is good
And if you know the way he felt inside
He's flying where he should
I never believed we'd ever live to see
An angel being born and flying home

R.I.P Don Patterson ( May 28, 1952 - January 4, 2007 )

If you wish to make a donation in memory of Don you may do so to Conservation National at www.conservation.org or a charity of your choice.

postsecret.com

2006-12-30T09:16:00.000-08:00

Love letters

2006-12-29T19:36:00.000-08:00

Dear Lord of the tards,

youre gunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnna get it.....bizitch.

mwuhahahaha. good will always triumph over evil, remember that jackass (es) . :)
you're welcome.

Best wishes.

love, Lisa xoxo

p.s. why you got your panties up in a bunch?

Happy Holidays

2006-12-26T09:19:00.000-08:00

So I spent my christmas with the family up island and had a fantastic time. There is nothing that i enjoy more then forcing my family to play board games (this is the one time of they year they know they can't say no) and watching home movies such as : the epic puppet show featuring Lisa 7 years, steven not old enough to understand. I only had one day off (christmas day) but it was a golrious day off full of chocolate for breakfast (pancakes to) and good solid quality family time. I was spoiled yet again and got a new razor v3t cell phone and an adapter for my car deck to power my ipod through my stereo system. Was a bit of an inconvienience when my car decided to break down on christmas day, but dad the super mechanic came to the rescue and 500 dollars later, she runs like a beaut. (and she should for that much money.) gak. So now it is back at the grind for me at work, we are hella busy, and my next day off will be the next holiday Jan first. I don't have any plans for new years eve other then reading watching movies and painting, but if anyone has any plans i would like to consider them for myself...I don't really feel like going out and paying 25$ + for cover to a place i don't really normally enjoy that doesn't end up being any different then a regular night out with the exception of longer lineups and more expensive drinks. But I am willing to take any offer/suggestions you might have into consideration.

Anyways, gotta get ready for another day in movie hell. Wish me luck.

celebration

2006-12-08T22:06:00.001-08:00

so my blog has hit the 1000 mark. celebration commence. wohoo to me.(and no, 999 of those hits are not from ME checking MY website to up the count. I made it so my views do not effect the counter...otherwise it would probaly be at lik 10,000 by now....lol)

p.s. i am awesome.

p.p.s. i have really white teeth. im so proud

Narcissus

2006-11-28T21:32:00.000-08:00

Dear momma's boy,
I know you've had your butt licked by your mother
I know you've enjoyed all that attention from her
And every woman graced with your presence after

Dear narcissus boy,
I know you've never really apologized for anything
I know you've never really taken responsibility
I know you've never really listened to a woman

Dear me-show boy,
I know you're not really into conflict resolution
Or seeing both sides of every equation
Or having an uninterrupted conversation

And any talk of healthiness
And any talk of connectedness
And any talk of resolving this
Leaves you running for the door

(why why do I try to love you, try to love you when you really don't want me to)

Dear egotist boy,
You've never really had to suffer any consequence
You've never stayed with anyone longer than ten minutes
You'd never understand anyone showing resistance

Dear popular boy,
I know you're used to getting everything so easily
A stranger to the concept of reciprocity
People honor boys like you in this society

And any talk of selflessness
And any talk of working at this
And any talk of being of service
Leaves you running for the door

(why why do I try to help you, try to help you when you really don't want me to)

You go back to the women who will dance the dance
You go back to your friends who will lick your ass
You go back to ignoring all the rest of us
You go back to the center of your universe

Dear self centered boy,
I don't know why I still feel affected by you
I've never lasted very long with someone like you
I never did although I have to admit I wanted to

Dear magnetic boy,
You've never been with anyone who doesn't take your shit
You've never been with anyone who's dared to call you on it
I wonder how you'd be if someone were to call you on it

And any talk of willingness
And any talk of both feet in
And any talk of commitment
Leaves you running for the door

(why why do I try to change you try to, try to change you when you really don't want me to)

You go back to the women who will dance the dance
You go back to your friends who will lick your ass
You go back to being so oblivious
You go back to the center of the universe

- alanis morissette

Talking to Americans Part II

2006-11-25T18:00:00.000-08:00

So the other day I had a rather amusing run-in with a family of our friendly american neighbours. While the gentleman was searching his pockets for some canadian funds, he proceeded to ask "So is the canadian dollar equivalent to the british pound??" GOD IF THAT WERE TRUE ID BE A MILLIONARE! what a fantastic exchange rate that would be!!!! I was a bit speechless at the time, as I was still waiting for him to break out in laughter and say an extremely awkward but anticipated "JUST KIDDING!" when to my suprise...he wasn't joking at all. After i spent a good five minutes explaing how our dollar face value was exactly the same as theirs minus a mere 8 percent, we got into the subject of exchange rates. "So what does that mean exactly.." he proceeded. "So what is your dollar worth in american, like 20 cents? HA. Do you not know how to calculate simple math? (well i dont either, but I can still tell you that an 80 cent difference is far from correct) Don't you wish it was. Where do you people come up with this material? It is absolutely the funniest shit I have ever heard. And you say it with such a straight face! you have me so fooled. You have seriously GOT to be kidding...right???....

After that lovely exchange of words, Mr.Intelligence's daughter approaches me and I am once again speechless. ( twice in one day is pretty tough, well done.) I take a double look at the "Bling" hanging around her neck, and what I see is absolutely appauling. She has a gargantuan charm covered in jewels and crystals in the form of a very detailed HAND GUN! Call me old fashioned, but I really find that repulsive and extremely un-appropriate. If my daughter were to ever wear something so tasteless and un-fashion saavy I would rip that thing right off her neck, and send her straight to boot camp. (well, actually Ill just go ahead and admit right now that I would probably undo it properly, I mean who wants to ruin a perfectly good chain...minus the ghastly charm of course?)

So completely off topic, a lot has gone down lately, both for the good and bad. I will unveil these updates in the very new future...If i want.

2006-11-24T22:32:00.000-08:00

god's gonna cut you down

2006-11-04T22:25:00.000-08:00

im so tired of being lonely .

History Brief

2006-09-17T08:24:00.000-07:00

Now most of you know me well enough to know parts of my past. But for those of you that don't, here is a little look back in time.
Growing up I was on a skipping team for a solid 11 years of my life. I loved every single part of that sport. (yes it IS a sport.) And before you start making assumptions no we did not just bounce around chanting "had a little sportscar in 1978 took it around the cooooooorner and slammed on the breaks. policeman stopped me and put me in jail, all i had was ginger ale, how many bottles did i drink..1...2...3.." ok wait a minute. Just because I know that rhyme does not mean anything...hmm..Im really not supporting my argument to well. But I don't care about that, because once you watch these videos I will have made a believer out of you.

First of all, let me give you a quick breakdown on how a skipping competition goes down:
They are usually 2 days long. First day is generally speed and endurance. In this catagory there is both single and team events. An example of an event is single rope 30 second speed. My best time if i remember correctly was 168 revolutions in 30 seconds. If you don't understand how fast that is, i suggest you try running in one spot for 30 seconds counting only one leg. You may be lucky to break 70. You then take that number and times it by two. (obviously so you can count for both feet.) The same rules apply to team events, except for it is done in double dutch and one person is skipping working their ass off and two people are turning the ropes at lightning speed. An example of another event is called "power" and it is where you do as many double or triple unders as you can until you mess up.

Second day is generally the freestyle day. This is where it really gets creative. As a single skipper your routines are usually close to a minute long, and you must pack as MANY of the hardest tricks you can into this tiny window of opportunity. Points are knocked off for mess ups and added for difficulty, use of space, creativity, time to music, and certain other technicalities (much like figure skating. including the politics.) Same rules apply to team, you are just in the double dutch format with either one single skipper or two skippers in the middle.

Now that you have been briefed i think you are almost ready.

I attended numerous competitions throughout my time on the Rhythm Ropers and closer to the end of my career, placed in the top 3 at provinicial and national levels for the greater part of my performances. (as a single and as part of a team.) It is something that I am proud of and I can brag about it if i want. I gotta lot of blue kickin around in the ribbons and metal bin i have stashed away. I kicked some serious ass. So for all you non believers out there, Ima guna make a believer out of yous. If more people skipped with the intensity and drive that these next videos do, maybe skipping would finally be recognized as a real sport. (even though it already is a real sport, I made that very clear at the beginning. I' just saying maybe now people will ACKNOWLEDGE that.) The only vids I could find on youtube so far are all double dutch freestyle, but its a good start. Anyways, i guess you can watch the videos now. I really miss skipping, can you tell?

Rope skipping

2006-09-16T08:50:00.000-07:00

History Brief cont...